Monday, 10 June 2019

Taking some time out

I am a naturally positive person. I always have been.... But... I have to admit that I have never been so disillusioned with so much in this crazy circus. 

So much so, that I have felt the need to distance myself from organisations and groups that advertise as wanting to promote awareness and change. 

I've found that I have lost the will to write on the subjects anymore because it's all been said before. 

Even trying to read articles from knowledgeable people I have found that I am starting to switch off to because once again, it's all been said before with very little change. 

I have lost the enthusiasm to organise anything or even participate in anything at the moment that attempts to raise awareness of pca / pa because each time I try, it seems to be met with apathy even from the organisations I am trying to assist... 

After almost 10 years of trying to do something positive in such a difficult situation I have to be blunt and honest about this because it's how I feel. 

In my own situation, I've been patient because I have had to be. 

I was gagged until the point that I lost faith in the court system to be a mechanism to help to resolve the situation and help to reunite my daughter with her paternal family. I now post quite freely because the only way it seems to get to tell my child how much she is loved and missed is through social media.. 

That I will continue to do as it is so important for Aleyah to know that she is always in my heart and in my mind. 

I will continue to visit the school often and find out as much information about her progress as possible.. 

She is almost 14 now so there is a few more years left of "being patient" but at that point, I am still not sure how to approach reunification. 

I have reached out for advice here so many times but have simply been ignored. 

Aleyah will have to deal with the fact that she has been lied to and betrayed for so long as tactics to keep here away from her paternal family or she may refuse to be reunited and believe the alienation tactics that have been so venomously used.. How do I help her with this?

Over this 10 years, I have been given promises and words of hope from lawyers, advocates, groups and organisations but still, I am only closer through time.. Not through action or help.. Its frustrating.. 

I am sure many of you feel similar despite trying to gloss it over with positivity.. I wish you all well.. I really do, but for now, I think I need to step back a little

One Day Closer x

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