Sunday, 18 August 2019

14th birthday - Never Give Up



Next Sunday will be Aleyah's 14th birthday.. Yes 14! As we have done every year since she was taken, we will be trying to celebrate the day as much as possible and keeping cards and messages from friends and family for her to read when we are reunited. (let me know if you want a message from you kept for her).
We keep all messages etc in a memory chest for her so she will be able to see for herself that she is, and has always been in our minds and in our hearts. We will also, of course, have cake 🎂😉.

Next year, we plan to do another "Across Borders" event which Michelle is crazy enough to make the journey with me to help to raise awareness of parental child abduction and parental alienation.. and hopefully raise some funds for one or two worthy charities (TBD) .. Guess some more training is in order..

Thanks Michelle Clark and others who have stood by me, given your support, spoken up instead of just thinking how wrong this has been and those who have helped and supported these events and activities. Also those who have sent or posted messages of support. They all mean so much xxx

I have some amazing friends and family who I love and appreciate so much. You have helped to keep me strong, and smiling even when I have found moments so difficult.

We are one more day closer.. There will be an end to this madness.. Always loving you.. Forever your dad xx

#nevergiveup #onedaycloser #foreveryourdad #walkacrossborders #tandemacrossborders

Saturday, 3 August 2019

Plea to the maternal family

I continue to plea to the maternal family to end this madness. Enough is enough. The tactics to remove Aleyah from her home in Spain (for the 2nd time) were dispicable. Unforgivable..

It allowed you to achieve your objective. To erase Aleyah's paternal family from your life. But in doing that, you are also alienating Aleyah from her paternal family who love her unconditionally.

It is time to move forward and think of our daughter. She is an amazing young lady and has been given opportunities on stage that I probably couldnt have provided but what I would have provided is a loving relationship with both the maternal and paternal families.

I am so proud of her for everything she is achieving and also the way that her teachers say that she is keeping her feet on the ground.

One day I am sure you know we will be reunited. Aleyah is on my mind every single day and she does not deserve to be deceived in the way she has been.

Changing her name on stage, lies, deception, alienation, false allegations etc will never take away the fact that I am her father and I will always look out for her in any way I can.

You know this is the right thing to do even if you would never admit to the tactics you have used. It is time to move forward and allow her to have her father in her life.

My details are:

s.monkdalton@gmail.com
0034 622 925 754

Wednesday, 24 July 2019

Blocking posts and blogs

Sadly, it seems that along with the threats I received to try to stop me from posting about how I love and miss my daughter, attempts have also been made to remove my blogs and articles in an obvious attempt to stop the truth from being known.




I will continue to post to private blog messages to my daughter which she can read whenever she asks for access. 

It is so important for her to know that she is always in my mind and in my heart. Always has been.. Always will be.. 

The tactics used to keep us apart have been dispicable.. This will come to an end. One day she will seek the truth I am sure. 

When she is an adult, she won't be able to be controlled in the way she is now and decisions made for her. I have maintained a record should she seek these answers. 
All I wanted was to be in my daughter's life but every tactic possible has been used to try to stop that from happening.. All because I dared to instigate Hague proceedings for her return home after she was taken a decade ago. 

I have tried to request mediation several times but it is always refused by her mother. Probably through fear of the truth being known.

I want my daughter to know that I am not the person that I have been portrayed to be.. I am a loving father who would do anything for my child. 




Parental alienation and abuse of the family court with tactics like false allegations is horrific.. But I am not alone. There are many fathers, mothers and families that are having to cope and be patient in the same way we have.




But I am not broken by this. I am the same loving, caring father I always was... Only stronger! 

In a way, I can understand why such attempts are being used to try to silence me. The tactics that were used were beyond despicable. 

If and when answers are searched for, they are here. 

Ideally, I would have loved to be able to mediate. 

Despite those tactics used and the hurt that was caused to the paternal family, I have been willing to put those thoughts aside and discuss contact so our daughter can have both sides of her family in her life. She deserves that.. What she does not deserve is to be lied to and deceived in the way that she has been and still is being!! 

We are one day closer and I cannot wait for the day we are reunited.

Always loving you
Forever your dad

s.monkdalton@gmail.com 
0034 622 925 754

Saturday, 13 July 2019

Memories

Wonder if you remember these times Aleyah? I hope so... In some ways it seems like only yesterday.... In others, it seems like a lifetime ago... I miss you so much.. Not a day goes by without you in my mind and in my heart.. I am so proud of you... One more day closer xx



#aleyahmonkdalton aka alienation/stagename #aaliyahmonk #kidsfirst #onedaycloser

Thursday, 11 July 2019

RIP Mom (Aleyah's Nana)

12th July was the birthday of an amazing lady that I was proud to call Mom. Sadly, she passed away in Nov 2015. 




For such a small lady, she had such huge personality and huge strength. 




She absolutely worshipped her children, grandchildren and great grandchild as well as all of her friends and family. 




It is so so tragic that my daughter Aleyah didn't get the opportunity to reunite. They adored each other. The tactics used to keep them apart was cruel and heartless. Certain people should hang their heads in shame but sadly, I don't believe they have any conscience at all 😞

I wish she was still here :/ I miss her so damn much.. x









Sunday, 7 July 2019

Missing my Daughter Aleyah

I miss my little girl so much.

As much as one tries to stay strong, tries to keep positive, even tries to show smiles, it never gets any easier. But I am not going to be a shell of the person and dad that was left behind. I will be the same loving dad when we are reunited, only stronger and wiser... 

My little girl deserves her dad and family back!




I am sick to death of the injustices going on in the family courts nationally and internationally.

I am sick of the lies, the deceptions, the tactics to alienate children from good families with no deterrent or accountability for this premeditated abuse of the family AND children (and being gagged from talking about it in detail).

It breaks my heart when people dig their heads in the sand and allow this to happen.

The longer the abuse goes on, the more people seem to accept that it must be ok... It is not OK.... it will never be ok!




To be honest, I am drained. I continue to try to stay strong but am so disillusioned with authorities, organisations etc being able or even wishing to make a difference.. but I will keep trying to "encourage" these people and support the organisations that I believe are at least trying to change a broken system.

The trouble with being strong and being seen to be strong though is that no one seems to hear you when you ARE struggling. 

They just assume that you can deal with it.

I am not ashamed to admit I DO find it unbelievably difficult... traumatic..... heartbreaking... 

I sit in the room I keep decorated for my daughter many times weeping at our loss and wondering when justice will finally happen to allow us to be reunited. Not many people see this.




I am blessed to have some amazing friends and family who are supportive and do care. You help to keep me going and I am so grateful to have you in my life.




We are ONE DAY CLOSER... I just hope that day will come sooner rather than later... x

Saturday, 22 June 2019

Carrefest 2019 - Vote Shani

Let's get voting every day on Facebook and twitter for our talented friend Shani Ormiston. 🙂You can vote every day until the 7th July x


Click on this link to vote 👇

https://t.co/3iVstZimKu



Shani has been such amazing support for the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre charity and to me personally over the years so please give your support back in her musical career.. 









Thanks all x

Monday, 10 June 2019

Parental Alienation - So many questions.. So few answers

How many target parents (parental child abduction/parental alienation) will have to go through the totally flawed family court process at such a huge cost emotionally, financially & sometimes physically?

In many cases their lives are systematically destroyed not only by the abducting/alienating parent but also by the authorities they try to trust to protect them & their child.

Their character is subjected to an unjust & unfair battering which facilitates the abusive & narcissistic behaviour & totally fails the children as well as the target family.

These target parents continue to go through this process in the hope that THEY will be the one case that is different. 

There are some success stories (if you can call them that as the child loses out as soon as alienation tactics commence) but more often than not, the target parent seems to hit one brick wall after another as if it is engineered to sap the life of a loving parent with the objective of pushing them to the point where they cannot go on any longer. It's a very profitable and accepted emotional abuse.

I'm not convinced at the moment that there will be any real change unless there is a system in place to identify, deter and provide accountability for these heinous emotional abuses. Will this happen? I suspect not because conflict in the family court is such a profitable business so is often encouraged by some devious and immoral lawyers and court "professionals" 

I plea for the day where courts act on the deceptive, dishonest & abusive "tactics" that seem to repeat over and over again which I am convinced they are aware of. 

We will keep on hearing these nightmare stories where the system has failed parents & children. When will it end? 

If you found yourself facing this, what would you do? Imagine you woke tomorrow & found that your partner/ex-partner had internationally abducted your child. What would your first action be if reasoning/mediation was not possible due to the mindset of the abducting "parent"?

What if such heinous and false allegations were made against you in the family courts and they were simply accepted despite your pleas to investigate fully? 

What if your child was coached and brainwashed to reject you and your family? Who would you turn to? 

If you are in a position where you have been absent from your child's life through  alienation tactics for a long period of time, how would a parent help the child through the reunification process? Who can they turn to for help?

So many questions... So few answers. 

Taking some time out

I am a naturally positive person. I always have been.... But... I have to admit that I have never been so disillusioned with so much in this crazy circus. 

So much so, that I have felt the need to distance myself from organisations and groups that advertise as wanting to promote awareness and change. 

I've found that I have lost the will to write on the subjects anymore because it's all been said before. 

Even trying to read articles from knowledgeable people I have found that I am starting to switch off to because once again, it's all been said before with very little change. 

I have lost the enthusiasm to organise anything or even participate in anything at the moment that attempts to raise awareness of pca / pa because each time I try, it seems to be met with apathy even from the organisations I am trying to assist... 

After almost 10 years of trying to do something positive in such a difficult situation I have to be blunt and honest about this because it's how I feel. 

In my own situation, I've been patient because I have had to be. 

I was gagged until the point that I lost faith in the court system to be a mechanism to help to resolve the situation and help to reunite my daughter with her paternal family. I now post quite freely because the only way it seems to get to tell my child how much she is loved and missed is through social media.. 

That I will continue to do as it is so important for Aleyah to know that she is always in my heart and in my mind. 

I will continue to visit the school often and find out as much information about her progress as possible.. 

She is almost 14 now so there is a few more years left of "being patient" but at that point, I am still not sure how to approach reunification. 

I have reached out for advice here so many times but have simply been ignored. 

Aleyah will have to deal with the fact that she has been lied to and betrayed for so long as tactics to keep here away from her paternal family or she may refuse to be reunited and believe the alienation tactics that have been so venomously used.. How do I help her with this?

Over this 10 years, I have been given promises and words of hope from lawyers, advocates, groups and organisations but still, I am only closer through time.. Not through action or help.. Its frustrating.. 

I am sure many of you feel similar despite trying to gloss it over with positivity.. I wish you all well.. I really do, but for now, I think I need to step back a little

One Day Closer x

Sunday, 26 May 2019

Guilty for smiling on photos?

There was a comment on a group recently about feeling guilty about posting a picture of you smiling when having to cope with not seeing your children due to parental child abduction and/or parental alienation.

It's so important to keep strong and focus on other parts of your life that keep you as happy as you can be.. Dont feel guilty for smiling!

Your child needs the parent they had.. Only stronger.. Not a broken shell of the person you once were.. Its tough I know.. We all will have our moments where the situation overcomes us and the tears are flooding.. But remember, our children may feel guilt for being controlled in the way they may have been..

They will want to see a happy, strong parent that they can return to whether it's tomorrow, next week, next year or in the future.. One day closer x

#parentalchildabduction #parentalalienation #onedaycloser #lovehome #lovespain

Sunday, 21 April 2019

Parental Alienation Awareness Day

I put this video together to help to raise awareness of parental alienation for Parental Alienation Day on 25th April 2019. 

It has been almost 10 years since I have been able to spend any time with my daughter. I hope she remembers the first 4 years of her life when she was home in Spain. 

I will never give up on my child and look forward to the day we are reunited. One Day Closer xx


#kidsfirst #onedaycloser #foreveryourdad #parentalienationawareness #nevergiveup #kidsfirst

https://youtu.be/5Wa_44-viJc

Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Parental Alienation Awareness - Kids First

I aim to do everything I can to raise awareness of issues related to pa / pca and let my daughter know how much she is loved and missed... Also to continue to plea to the maternal family to just do the right thing for Aleyah... We are one day closer xx

https://youtu.be/5Wa_44-viJc

#parentalienationawareness #onedaycloser #foreveryourdad #kidsfirst ALWAYS loving you.. ALWAYS thinking about you.. FOREVER your dad.. Xx #aleyahmonkdalton  (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk)

Friday, 15 February 2019

To alienating "parents" - The Future...

"One thing you should be aware of is that at some point, your children will start to ask questions and possibly realise how you have lied and deceived them too....

 


There will come a point where you cannot control them anymore and this might result in YOU losing them in their adult lives. Is that what you want? It's not what I want. Its not the childrens fault.. They deserve the love of BOTH parents and both sides of their family.. 

This doesn’t seem to matter to you too much right now as you have won your war against the other parent and family by preventing your child from having a loving and healthy relationship with the person you seem to hate more than you love your child"... But you have to realise that this is not only emotional abuse of your childs other side of the family; it is emotional abuse of the child you claim to love!!  

---------------------

There is still opportunity to change this..

Now is the time to put your children first... 

Stop parental child abduction

Stop parental alienation

Stop hostile "parenting"

One Day Closer x

#parentalchildabduction

#parentalalienation

#hostileparenting

#falseallegations

#perjury

#familycourt

#onedaycloser

#kidsfirst

Sunday, 27 January 2019

It wont be forever.. One more day closer

The situation people find themselves in is not going to last forever... We are one day closer..

Until then, look after yourself. It is so important because your child will need you.. There might be a lot of repair work to do when the time arises.

Always show love for your child rather than anger to your ex and their behaviour (you cant control their behaviour) .. Your child may already be being wrongfully taught that you are an aggressor.. Dont provide the bullets for your ex to shoot you with..

Celebrate key dates like birthdays and Xmas.. Even in your childs absence.. I have kept cards/gifts/photos from family and friends for almost 10 years now.. I am so glad I asked that of family.. Especially since Aleyah's grandmother is no longer with us..


But, one day Aleyah will see this to help her understand that she has never been forgotten by her paternal family.. and never will be...

Stay strong all 

ALWAYS loving you.. ALWAYS thinking about you.. FOREVER your dad.. Xx #aleyahmonkdalton #onedaycloser (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk)