Monday, 6 August 2018

Change since Walk Across Borders?

3 years since we started Walk Cross Borders. 44 marathons in 44 days to raise awareness of parental child abduction, parental alienation and the Reunite charity and to show MY OWN daughter a small part of what I would do for her.. 

This started at Orihuela Court in Spain and ended at RCJ London.. Quite a lot of awareness was raised during this event but sadly, In this last few years, there has been little progress in reuniting with my daughter, mediation point blank refused and very tragically, my daughter has lost a loving grandmother perminently. 

I will keep reaching out to plea to the maternal family for this bs to end and stop the disgraceful alienating tactics that continues to keep us apart.. 8 years stolen so far :(... One more day closer..

#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #walkacrossborders

http://walkacrossborders.blogspot.com/

Thursday, 2 August 2018

Parental Alienation / Parental Child Abduction - Thoughts of a Parent

Dear Parents

How are you today? I hope all is well and you are blessed to be able to treasure some moments of your day for quality time with your children...Please treasure every single second.

I'm sure some days are testing. That's what being a parent is all about but I am sure that many families that have been affected by parental child abduction and/or alienation would love to be in your position because many have not been able to even communicate with their child for months... or like myself, sometimes years and sadly this is mostly due to the selfishness of the other "parent" as well as the family court systems that appear to facilitate this abuse.


I write today because I am feeling particularly down about the situation some parents find themselves in. When an abduction occurs, at the beginning, there is absolute uproar with friends and family.

"How can the other parent do this?"
"It is so wrong for this to happen. What can we do to help?"

Fantastic!.. There is an instant rallying together to try to resolve the situation because obviously, the authorities won't allow this to happen for long will they?..... WRONG !!

There is no rush to resolve the situation with the authorities (that would reduce their pay cheques). 

A parent tries to do everything they can to resolve the situation and often go directly to a lawyer and pay a retainer if they have the money or look to family and friends to help them. 

They may find these lawyers with very little research into their background in family law or international cross border child issues as the urgency to resolve the situation does not allow time to do this research.


The parent does this as a gut reaction as they believe that the system is BOUND to protect them and their children.. . After all... to steal a child is obviously a crime..  WRONG AGAIN !! Well... it is a crime but is it really enforced as being one???

Even with the protection of the Hague Convention and Brussels II revised which is supposed to protect from this occurring. So many stalling and devious tactics are used by "legal experts" which are abusive, cruel and immoral such as trying to portray the affected parent as unfit with false allegations.

The system as it stands is set up for these tactics to be used as there is little or no deterrent nor accountability for using them. 

In fact, they are sometimes rewarded with legal aid which is part of the reason that this "method" is used. 

Sadly, there is no thought whatsoever by an abducting/alienating "parent" or their legal advisors into the possible long term emotional affects on the family and the children..

The affected parent continues to do everything they can to resolve the situation.. Paying additional expenses for lawyers and barristers and well as travelling back and forth to the country they have been abducted or removed to. 

They often get themselves in so much financial trouble as a result of this that they might never recover from..



 As the situation goes on and on with no or limited resolution, the concern of friends and family often diminishes. Instead of the initial uproar, they sometimes hear comments like..

"It will all work out someday when they are older"

"He / she seems to be happy"

"All must be ok because they are with the other parent"

"You need to continue with your life because they will come back someday"

"They will work out the truth someday" 

Etc.. Etc.. Etc... 

If you are affected, I am sure you can add much more to this list as you are wiping away your tears on a daily basis because, to you, the first person you think of a the start of the day is your absent child and continues throughout each and every day..

 You learn to become stronger on the outside but it never becomes easier and your love for your child never lessens. 


The fact that the child was effectively stolen and retained from their other parent and family no longer seems a concern to most.. and the longer this goes on, the less concern there seems to be. 

These parents are so frustrated about this because the longer this goes on actually shows even more how wrong this situation is. 

People sometimes no longer to even relate you to being a parent... 

Remember the Xmas cards etc where your child is no longer mentioned - EVEN from close friends and family? Hurts doesn't it??

 The abducting / alienating parent has been allowed to erase you and your family from their lives aided and abetted by the system/authorities that you put your trust in. 

So at this point, what does a parent do? Give up? Pretend their child never even existed, box the emotions away? It seems that this is what is expected..

Some find the strength to carry on doing everything they can to be reunited with their child and look at different ways of achieving this... but the more time goes on, the less help they seem to get ... even from organisation that specialise in these issues.

A parent becomes so frustrated and sometimes feel that talking about what they can be doing to reunite with their child becomes a taboo subject.. After all, they've had the time to "get over it"

People need to understand that they will NEVER "Get over it"... They just learn to be stronger and cope as best they can with the situation.

If you have a family member of a close friend in a similar position, please give them some thought from time to time. They might go about their lives wearing a plastic smile but inside they hurt just as much, if not more, today than they did when this whole nightmare started. 

One Day Closer all xxxx


Tuesday, 31 July 2018

Stop the hate! Stop the alienation! Stop the abuse!

There will come a point where you cannot control the thoughts of your child anymore and this might result in you losing them in their adult lives. 

If your children "are your world" then why do you HATE half of who they are so much that you feel the need to alienate them from the other parent and family?

#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #stoptheabuse

Friday, 27 July 2018

Aleyah's role as Summer comes to an end

Just to let you know, my daughter Aleyah ends her role of Summer in School of Rock, London next month. Thank you to all who went to see her in the show (or tried to) and sent me photos.. It really does mean so much to me that you cared enough to do that and I'm sure it will to her too when we are reunited whenever that might be.. I have written all of your names and the date you went in the notebook I had made for her which will be kept in her memory chest.. One more day closer xxxx

Thursday, 26 July 2018

Join us on the Reunite Walk - 15th September

As mentioned in earlier posts, the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual walk is taking place at Stave Hill Ecology Park, London on Saturday 15th September

It would be great if we can get more people there.. Parents.. family members.. Friends/supporters. 

The more people that go, the more awareness we can show to people that are not necessarily affected by parental child abduction / retention / parental alienation as well as highlighting to MPs, authorities, media, social media etc.

It's an opportunity for parents to speak to others in a similar position to realise that they are not alone and give each other much needed support. It's also a good opportunity to speak to people from Reunite.

It only takes place once per year so I really hope that people will do what they can to give their support

We have booked our flights from Spain to be there so look forward to seeing you if you can make it.. 

Let Reunite know if you want to be there with us : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or reunite@dircon.co.uk

Remember.. This walk is primarily about getting parents, families together who have been affected by parental child abduction and friends/family/supporters. It is only 5km in a very pleasant setting..

Stave Hill Ecological Park

Timber Pond Rd, London SE16 6AX, UK

https://goo.gl/maps/ZkwpsUM2KqK2

Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus but I have set up a new Justgiving page to try to raise monies to update their IT to better support affected families though their advice line

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/reunite-spain-computerfund

Sunday, 22 July 2018

Always thinking of you Aleyah

Wherever I go, I'm thinking of you Aleyah.. Today I cycled past the swings where you used to play at playa flamenca.. I know you would be too old for these now but memories are all I have right now.. I cannot wait for the day we are reunited.. Always loving you.. Forever your dad.. Xxxx. #onedaycloser #aleyahmonkdalton aka alienation/stage name #aaliyahmonk

Thursday, 19 July 2018

Reunite International Annual Walk - 15th September

Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual walk will take place this year on Saturday 15th September at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London. 

This walk is primarily about getting parents, families and supporters together who have been affected by parental child abduction.

Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus. However, if you do wish to sponsor us to help Reunite support parents and families affected by parental child abduction, you can do so on my Justgiving page 

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/smd-reunite

If you would like to participate, please contact reunite on : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or reunite@dircon.co.uk and let them know you would like to support them so they can estimate numbers. Thanks guys xx

Sunday, 24 June 2018

Positive News

Fantastic to hear tonight from a parent who has reunited with his children after several years separated through parental child abduction / parental alienation. There will no doubt be a healing period for them where the damage will need time to repair in order to rebuild their relationships but it was so positive to hear.

I hope they are given help with this process and not simply left to it as it will be a difficult process I am sure. 

Another positive is that the other parent admitted using false allegations as they were advised to by lawyers.. 

Maybe the family courts need to open their eyes and see that this is a tactic to achieve an objective and actually provide some form of deterrent and accountability for legal professionals as well as alienating parents?? .. 

Until they do, it will continue to be a tool used by alienating parents and malicious legal teams without any thought for the possible long term damage on the children xx



Friday, 22 June 2018

JOIN REUNITE PC FUND TEAM

We recently had a visit from Reunite International's CEO and she discussed with me a real need they have to updating their PC support system as it is very outdated and not compatible with some of the software they wish to use to run their adviceline / support system.


As you might know, Reunite International Child Abduction Centre are a registered charity who support parents and families worldwide who have been affected by parental child abduction so for obvious reasons, it is a charity close to my heart.

However, it is a small charity with a limited budget so I thought that maybe there could be something we could do to help them reach the target of £20,000 that they have been quoted..

With that in mind, I set up a justgiving "Team" page where we can add any events and fundraising we do as we go along...

www.justgiving.com/teams/reunite-pcfund

If you would like to donate to this fund or organise an event etc to help them reach this target, click on the link. 

If you are wanting to organise your own event for this fund, why not set up a JustGiving page and add your page to this team by clicking on the "Join the Team" link at the bottom of the team page.

Thanks xxxx

Another Day Closer

Another day closer... Always loving you.. Always thinking of you. Forever your Dad xxx



Wearing School of Rock shirt with pride

Wearing my School of Rock t-shirt with pride.. #prouddad #stickittotheman #schoolofrockuk #aleyahmonkdalton (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk) #summerhathaway xx


Wednesday, 21 March 2018

Plea....

Sharing in the hope that the mother and maternal grandparents will start to see how this needs to change.. Please put an end to this behaviour for our daughter's sake.. One day there will be an end to this.. Im sure you know that.. Wouldn't it be better sooner rather than later and have her know that you did that for her rather than the inevitable resentment she may have later in life?



I will plea again ... Please stop the bs..

Surely this must be stressful for everybody and really needs to stop?.. Please just allow our child to be loved and cared for by both parents.. 

The tactics that were used were so bad and have stolen so many years from our lives..

It has stolen our child's grandmother perminently which is unbelievably tragic..



I am trying to put my thoughts about this to one side and think of OUR child.. She deserves to be allowed to be loved and cared for by BOTH of her parents..

Communicate for the sake of our child.. She will thank you for that in the future whatever she is being taught to believe now.. 

Contact

Articles 

Can you forgive.....
Dear Alienating Parent
Patterns of Behaviour
Thoughts of a Parent...
Ironic view of Family Court...


Thoughts for my daughter

Always loving you Aleyah
Always thinking of you...
Forever your dad xxx



One day closer





Sunday, 18 March 2018

EI dia del padre

Fathers Day tomorrow here in Spain 'EI dia del padre"...It really is so difficult and the emotions heighten even more on key dates... Please don't forget that parents who cannot see their children due to abduction and /or alienation ARE still daddies or mummies on these days. The difference being that it cannot be acknowledged by the children that they love with all of their hearts... Thoughts with all affected parents, grandparents, families AND of course, their children.... One day closer x
#diadelpadre

Wednesday, 7 March 2018

International Women's Day

With International Women's Day, I could name several who should have some recognition but as it is international, there are very few more deserving than Alison Shalaby of Reunite International Child Abduction Centre for her work in raising awareness of parental child abduction and her support of parents and families affected by this.. Thanks Alison.. xxx
#reuniteinternationalchildabductioncentre #parentalchildabduction #parentalalienation #internationalwomansday

School Of Rock UK

I am so so proud of you Aleyah. Not a day goes by without me thinking of you.

Always loving you.... Forever your Dad

I cannot wait for the day we are reunited.... One more day closer

xxxxx
Aleyah, Aaliyah



Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Love the picture of you

I saw that Martins Prints UK made a picture of you…

It is amazing!!!

So proud of you Aleyah

20180114_141702

Always Loving you

Forever your Dad

One More Day Closer

xxxx

Thursday, 4 January 2018

How to Abduct and Retain Your Child


This article was written as an ironic view of how the current family court system can be used to facilitate the abduction and retention of children across international borders. Some of the points mentioned also relate to issues in the domestic family court system.

My reasoning is to highlight the tactics often used in cross border / domestic proceedings in the hope that the various authorities (and/or media) will provide an investigation into these issues which I would like to prompt greater deterrent and accountability.
 
https://medium.com/@SMD_1daycloser/how-to-abduct-and-retain-your-child-a91139915fa0