Saturday, 13 July 2019

Memories

Wonder if you remember these times Aleyah? I hope so... In some ways it seems like only yesterday.... In others, it seems like a lifetime ago... I miss you so much.. Not a day goes by without you in my mind and in my heart.. I am so proud of you... One more day closer xx



#aleyahmonkdalton aka alienation/stagename #aaliyahmonk #kidsfirst #onedaycloser

Thursday, 11 July 2019

RIP Mom (Aleyah's Nana)

12th July was the birthday of an amazing lady that I was proud to call Mom. Sadly, she passed away in Nov 2015. 




For such a small lady, she had such huge personality and huge strength. 




She absolutely worshipped her children, grandchildren and great grandchild as well as all of her friends and family. 




It is so so tragic that my daughter Aleyah didn't get the opportunity to reunite. They adored each other. The tactics used to keep them apart was cruel and heartless. Certain people should hang their heads in shame but sadly, I don't believe they have any conscience at all 😞

I wish she was still here :/ I miss her so damn much.. x









Sunday, 7 July 2019

Missing my Daughter Aleyah

I miss my little girl so much.

As much as one tries to stay strong, tries to keep positive, even tries to show smiles, it never gets any easier. But I am not going to be a shell of the person and dad that was left behind. I will be the same loving dad when we are reunited, only stronger and wiser... 

My little girl deserves her dad and family back!




I am sick to death of the injustices going on in the family courts nationally and internationally.

I am sick of the lies, the deceptions, the tactics to alienate children from good families with no deterrent or accountability for this premeditated abuse of the family AND children (and being gagged from talking about it in detail).

It breaks my heart when people dig their heads in the sand and allow this to happen.

The longer the abuse goes on, the more people seem to accept that it must be ok... It is not OK.... it will never be ok!




To be honest, I am drained. I continue to try to stay strong but am so disillusioned with authorities, organisations etc being able or even wishing to make a difference.. but I will keep trying to "encourage" these people and support the organisations that I believe are at least trying to change a broken system.

The trouble with being strong and being seen to be strong though is that no one seems to hear you when you ARE struggling. 

They just assume that you can deal with it.

I am not ashamed to admit I DO find it unbelievably difficult... traumatic..... heartbreaking... 

I sit in the room I keep decorated for my daughter many times weeping at our loss and wondering when justice will finally happen to allow us to be reunited. Not many people see this.




I am blessed to have some amazing friends and family who are supportive and do care. You help to keep me going and I am so grateful to have you in my life.




We are ONE DAY CLOSER... I just hope that day will come sooner rather than later... x

Saturday, 22 June 2019

Carrefest 2019 - Vote Shani

Let's get voting every day on Facebook and twitter for our talented friend Shani Ormiston. 🙂You can vote every day until the 7th July x


Click on this link to vote 👇

https://t.co/3iVstZimKu



Shani has been such amazing support for the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre charity and to me personally over the years so please give your support back in her musical career.. 









Thanks all x

Monday, 10 June 2019

Parental Alienation - So many questions.. So few answers

How many target parents (parental child abduction/parental alienation) will have to go through the totally flawed family court process at such a huge cost emotionally, financially & sometimes physically?

In many cases their lives are systematically destroyed not only by the abducting/alienating parent but also by the authorities they try to trust to protect them & their child.

Their character is subjected to an unjust & unfair battering which facilitates the abusive & narcissistic behaviour & totally fails the children as well as the target family.

These target parents continue to go through this process in the hope that THEY will be the one case that is different. 

There are some success stories (if you can call them that as the child loses out as soon as alienation tactics commence) but more often than not, the target parent seems to hit one brick wall after another as if it is engineered to sap the life of a loving parent with the objective of pushing them to the point where they cannot go on any longer. It's a very profitable and accepted emotional abuse.

I'm not convinced at the moment that there will be any real change unless there is a system in place to identify, deter and provide accountability for these heinous emotional abuses. Will this happen? I suspect not because conflict in the family court is such a profitable business so is often encouraged by some devious and immoral lawyers and court "professionals" 

I plea for the day where courts act on the deceptive, dishonest & abusive "tactics" that seem to repeat over and over again which I am convinced they are aware of. 

We will keep on hearing these nightmare stories where the system has failed parents & children. When will it end? 

If you found yourself facing this, what would you do? Imagine you woke tomorrow & found that your partner/ex-partner had internationally abducted your child. What would your first action be if reasoning/mediation was not possible due to the mindset of the abducting "parent"?

What if such heinous and false allegations were made against you in the family courts and they were simply accepted despite your pleas to investigate fully? 

What if your child was coached and brainwashed to reject you and your family? Who would you turn to? 

If you are in a position where you have been absent from your child's life through  alienation tactics for a long period of time, how would a parent help the child through the reunification process? Who can they turn to for help?

So many questions... So few answers. 

Taking some time out

I am a naturally positive person. I always have been.... But... I have to admit that I have never been so disillusioned with so much in this crazy circus. 

So much so, that I have felt the need to distance myself from organisations and groups that advertise as wanting to promote awareness and change. 

I've found that I have lost the will to write on the subjects anymore because it's all been said before. 

Even trying to read articles from knowledgeable people I have found that I am starting to switch off to because once again, it's all been said before with very little change. 

I have lost the enthusiasm to organise anything or even participate in anything at the moment that attempts to raise awareness of pca / pa because each time I try, it seems to be met with apathy even from the organisations I am trying to assist... 

After almost 10 years of trying to do something positive in such a difficult situation I have to be blunt and honest about this because it's how I feel. 

In my own situation, I've been patient because I have had to be. 

I was gagged until the point that I lost faith in the court system to be a mechanism to help to resolve the situation and help to reunite my daughter with her paternal family. I now post quite freely because the only way it seems to get to tell my child how much she is loved and missed is through social media.. 

That I will continue to do as it is so important for Aleyah to know that she is always in my heart and in my mind. 

I will continue to visit the school often and find out as much information about her progress as possible.. 

She is almost 14 now so there is a few more years left of "being patient" but at that point, I am still not sure how to approach reunification. 

I have reached out for advice here so many times but have simply been ignored. 

Aleyah will have to deal with the fact that she has been lied to and betrayed for so long as tactics to keep here away from her paternal family or she may refuse to be reunited and believe the alienation tactics that have been so venomously used.. How do I help her with this?

Over this 10 years, I have been given promises and words of hope from lawyers, advocates, groups and organisations but still, I am only closer through time.. Not through action or help.. Its frustrating.. 

I am sure many of you feel similar despite trying to gloss it over with positivity.. I wish you all well.. I really do, but for now, I think I need to step back a little

One Day Closer x

Sunday, 26 May 2019

Guilty for smiling on photos?

There was a comment on a group recently about feeling guilty about posting a picture of you smiling when having to cope with not seeing your children due to parental child abduction and/or parental alienation.

It's so important to keep strong and focus on other parts of your life that keep you as happy as you can be.. Dont feel guilty for smiling!

Your child needs the parent they had.. Only stronger.. Not a broken shell of the person you once were.. Its tough I know.. We all will have our moments where the situation overcomes us and the tears are flooding.. But remember, our children may feel guilt for being controlled in the way they may have been..

They will want to see a happy, strong parent that they can return to whether it's tomorrow, next week, next year or in the future.. One day closer x

#parentalchildabduction #parentalalienation #onedaycloser #lovehome #lovespain

Sunday, 21 April 2019

Parental Alienation Awareness Day

I put this video together to help to raise awareness of parental alienation for Parental Alienation Day on 25th April 2019. 

It has been almost 10 years since I have been able to spend any time with my daughter. I hope she remembers the first 4 years of her life when she was home in Spain. 

I will never give up on my child and look forward to the day we are reunited. One Day Closer xx


#kidsfirst #onedaycloser #foreveryourdad #parentalienationawareness #nevergiveup #kidsfirst

https://youtu.be/5Wa_44-viJc

Tuesday, 19 February 2019

Parental Alienation Awareness - Kids First

I aim to do everything I can to raise awareness of issues related to pa / pca and let my daughter know how much she is loved and missed... Also to continue to plea to the maternal family to just do the right thing for Aleyah... We are one day closer xx

https://youtu.be/5Wa_44-viJc

#parentalienationawareness #onedaycloser #foreveryourdad #kidsfirst ALWAYS loving you.. ALWAYS thinking about you.. FOREVER your dad.. Xx #aleyahmonkdalton  (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk)

Friday, 15 February 2019

To alienating "parents" - The Future...

"One thing you should be aware of is that at some point, your children will start to ask questions and possibly realise how you have lied and deceived them too....

 


There will come a point where you cannot control them anymore and this might result in YOU losing them in their adult lives. Is that what you want? It's not what I want. Its not the childrens fault.. They deserve the love of BOTH parents and both sides of their family.. 

This doesn’t seem to matter to you too much right now as you have won your war against the other parent and family by preventing your child from having a loving and healthy relationship with the person you seem to hate more than you love your child"... But you have to realise that this is not only emotional abuse of your childs other side of the family; it is emotional abuse of the child you claim to love!!  

---------------------

There is still opportunity to change this..

Now is the time to put your children first... 

Stop parental child abduction

Stop parental alienation

Stop hostile "parenting"

One Day Closer x

#parentalchildabduction

#parentalalienation

#hostileparenting

#falseallegations

#perjury

#familycourt

#onedaycloser

#kidsfirst

Sunday, 27 January 2019

It wont be forever.. One more day closer

The situation people find themselves in is not going to last forever... We are one day closer..

Until then, look after yourself. It is so important because your child will need you.. There might be a lot of repair work to do when the time arises.

Always show love for your child rather than anger to your ex and their behaviour (you cant control their behaviour) .. Your child may already be being wrongfully taught that you are an aggressor.. Dont provide the bullets for your ex to shoot you with..

Celebrate key dates like birthdays and Xmas.. Even in your childs absence.. I have kept cards/gifts/photos from family and friends for almost 10 years now.. I am so glad I asked that of family.. Especially since Aleyah's grandmother is no longer with us..


But, one day Aleyah will see this to help her understand that she has never been forgotten by her paternal family.. and never will be...

Stay strong all 

ALWAYS loving you.. ALWAYS thinking about you.. FOREVER your dad.. Xx #aleyahmonkdalton #onedaycloser (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk)

Wednesday, 26 December 2018

Another Xmas Come and Gone

Another Xmas come and gone.. Once again, it hasn't been easy but thank you so much to all close to me who made a difficult time of year as enjoyable as was possible... 

Thanks to Matt, Mark, David, Claire and Joyce for making us feel so welcome on our visit. To Laura and Mark and the kids (Michelles grandchildren) for sharing Christmas Day festivities with us and the wonderful meal and also of course to Michelle who is always so supportive and really is my rock.. Love ya!!

Thanks also to family and friends who I really do appreciate the many messages of support.. And for the cards that include Aleyah even though she has been absent now for almost 10 years.. I keep every single message for her so she will see for herself how much she is loved and missed xxxx

I so hope my daughter Aleyah had a wonderful day... I hope with all of my heart that 2019 will be our year to be reunited... 

I pray that abducting/alienating parents are given a conscience and realise how wrong their behaviour is and put a stop to it for their children's sake!! 

Thoughts with all good parents who are so wrongfully alienated and/or restricted from being with their children and of course to the children who are wrongfully stopped from being with a parent and one side of their family.. 

This madness won't go on forever.. Stay strong and don't be beaten.. whether it's tomorrow, in the near future or further in time, your children will need you so don't give up!

ALWAYS loving you ALEYAH... FOREVER your Dad.. One more day closer xx

s.monkdalton@gmail.com 

0034 622 925 754