There was a comment on a group recently about feeling guilty about posting a picture of you smiling when having to cope with not seeing your children due to parental child abduction and/or parental alienation.
It's so important to keep strong and focus on other parts of your life that keep you as happy as you can be.. Dont feel guilty for smiling!
Your child needs the parent they had.. Only stronger.. Not a broken shell of the person you once were.. Its tough I know.. We all will have our moments where the situation overcomes us and the tears are flooding.. But remember, our children may feel guilt for being controlled in the way they may have been..
They will want to see a happy, strong parent that they can return to whether it's tomorrow, next week, next year or in the future.. One day closer x
#parentalchildabduction #parentalalienation #onedaycloser #lovehome #lovespain
I aim to do everything I can to raise awareness of issues related to pa / pca and let my daughter know how much she is loved and missed... Also to continue to plea to the maternal family to just do the right thing for Aleyah... We are one day closer xx
#parentalienationawareness #onedaycloser #foreveryourdad #kidsfirst ALWAYS loving you.. ALWAYS thinking about you.. FOREVER your dad.. Xx #aleyahmonkdalton (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk)
Below is a link to an interesting article / blog
I'm quite aligned to Karens thoughts on parental alienation.
Parental child abduction is often an action triggered by parental alienation behaviour (not always). In those cases, impartiality is part of the problem; Not the solution in my opinion.
Unfortunately, some organisations although doing some very good work in some areas are sadly financially driven to state impatiality. This I feel is a problem.
There needs to be a line between what is right and what is wrong in order to effectively prompt change.
September 10th - World Suicide Prevention Day.... What can you do?
Connect - ask how someone is
If you think someone might be feeling unwell, depressed; don’t be afraid to ask how they are.
Anyone can experience a mental health problem, so being able to talk about it is important to us all. And you don’t need to be an expert on mental health. Often, small everyday actions can make the biggest difference.
They might want to talk about it, or they might not. But just letting them know they don’t have to avoid the issue with you is important. Just spending time with the person lets them know you care and can help you understand what they’re going through.
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Thoughts today with all who are or who have experienced suicidal thoughts and families that have been affected..
A message for Gautam's daughter who some of my contacts related to parental child abduction / parental alienation may know: your Dad fought to be in your life until his very last breath.. He is not forgotten and NEVER will be.. I hope you will someday know of the love and dedication he had for you.. You were always his angel ... Xx #worldsuicidepreventionday #suicide #talk #connect
The last one we had together was when she was 4!! As we do every year, we tried to still "celebrate" her birthday in her absence..
We put all gifts and cards in a memory chest for her in the hope that one day she will see them to know that I and her friends and family, have never.. and will never give up on her...
We once again had cake (obviously to Michelle's delight) and as we do each year, went to a number of places Aleyah loved to go when she was here... It helps to still celebrate these days but it is very emotional x
These pictures show Aleyah 9 years ago and us in the same places today..
Below is a slide show from our travels which I hope that Aleyah will see...
https://photos.app.goo.gl/YczmGmbTGebMgJy46
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEYAH.. ALWAYS loving you... FOREVER your Dad.. One day closer xxxx
s.monkdalton@gmail.com
0034 622 925 754
Thank you for the people who have sent messages... It means a lot when family and friends acknowledge these special days and also continuing to send these messages to me directly (her dad) despite her still being absent... at the moment...
I will keep every last message until she has the opportunity to read them herself...
I will be celebrating her birthday with Michelle, with a cake will take more photos to put in her box that I have been keeping for her...
We will be once again going to a number of places she used to love going including Rio safari where we will make another braid on her favourite pony McCloud which we have done each birthday since she was taken. (sounds silly I know...).. That's because she did a braid when she was here..
I miss her so much... Not a day goes by without her in my mind and in my heart... We are one more day closer x
#aleyahmonkdalton (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk) #onedaycloser
#onedaycloser #aleyahmonkdalton aka alienation/stage name #aaliyahmonk #prouddad
3 years since we started Walk Cross Borders. 44 marathons in 44 days to raise awareness of parental child abduction, parental alienation and the Reunite charity and to show MY OWN daughter a small part of what I would do for her..
This started at Orihuela Court in Spain and ended at RCJ London.. Quite a lot of awareness was raised during this event but sadly, In this last few years, there has been little progress in reuniting with my daughter, mediation point blank refused and very tragically, my daughter has lost a loving grandmother perminently.
I will keep reaching out to plea to the maternal family for this bs to end and stop the disgraceful alienating tactics that continues to keep us apart.. 8 years stolen so far :(... One more day closer..
#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #walkacrossborders
http://walkacrossborders.blogspot.com/
I'm sure some days are testing. That's what being a parent is all about but I am sure that many families that have been affected by parental child abduction and/or alienation would love to be in your position because many have not been able to even communicate with their child for months... or like myself, sometimes years and sadly this is mostly due to the selfishness of the other "parent" as well as the family court systems that appear to facilitate this abuse.
A parent tries to do everything they can to resolve the situation and often go directly to a lawyer and pay a retainer if they have the money or look to family and friends to help them.
They may find these lawyers with very little research into their background in family law or international cross border child issues as the urgency to resolve the situation does not allow time to do this research.
The parent does this as a gut reaction as they believe that the system is BOUND to protect them and their children.. . After all... to steal a child is obviously a crime.. WRONG AGAIN !! Well... it is a crime but is it really enforced as being one???
Even with the protection of the Hague Convention and Brussels II revised which is supposed to protect from this occurring. So many stalling and devious tactics are used by "legal experts" which are abusive, cruel and immoral such as trying to portray the affected parent as unfit with false allegations.
The system as it stands is set up for these tactics to be used as there is little or no deterrent nor accountability for using them.
In fact, they are sometimes rewarded with legal aid which is part of the reason that this "method" is used.
Sadly, there is no thought whatsoever by an abducting/alienating "parent" or their legal advisors into the possible long term emotional affects on the family and the children..
The affected parent continues to do everything they can to resolve the situation.. Paying additional expenses for lawyers and barristers and well as travelling back and forth to the country they have been abducted or removed to.
They often get themselves in so much financial trouble as a result of this that they might never recover from..
"He / she seems to be happy"
"All must be ok because they are with the other parent"
"You need to continue with your life because they will come back someday"
"They will work out the truth someday"
Etc.. Etc.. Etc...
If you are affected, I am sure you can add much more to this list as you are wiping away your tears on a daily basis because, to you, the first person you think of a the start of the day is your absent child and continues throughout each and every day..
You learn to become stronger on the outside but it never becomes easier and your love for your child never lessens.
The fact that the child was effectively stolen and retained from their other parent and family no longer seems a concern to most.. and the longer this goes on, the less concern there seems to be.
These parents are so frustrated about this because the longer this goes on actually shows even more how wrong this situation is.
People sometimes no longer to even relate you to being a parent...
Remember the Xmas cards etc where your child is no longer mentioned - EVEN from close friends and family? Hurts doesn't it??
The abducting / alienating parent has been allowed to erase you and your family from their lives aided and abetted by the system/authorities that you put your trust in.
So at this point, what does a parent do? Give up? Pretend their child never even existed, box the emotions away? It seems that this is what is expected..
Some find the strength to carry on doing everything they can to be reunited with their child and look at different ways of achieving this... but the more time goes on, the less help they seem to get ... even from organisation that specialise in these issues.
A parent becomes so frustrated and sometimes feel that talking about what they can be doing to reunite with their child becomes a taboo subject.. After all, they've had the time to "get over it"
People need to understand that they will NEVER "Get over it"... They just learn to be stronger and cope as best they can with the situation.
If you have a family member of a close friend in a similar position, please give them some thought from time to time. They might go about their lives wearing a plastic smile but inside they hurt just as much, if not more, today than they did when this whole nightmare started.
One Day Closer all xxxx
