There was a comment on a group recently about feeling guilty about posting a picture of you smiling when having to cope with not seeing your children due to parental child abduction and/or parental alienation.
It's so important to keep strong and focus on other parts of your life that keep you as happy as you can be.. Dont feel guilty for smiling!
Your child needs the parent they had.. Only stronger.. Not a broken shell of the person you once were.. Its tough I know.. We all will have our moments where the situation overcomes us and the tears are flooding.. But remember, our children may feel guilt for being controlled in the way they may have been..
They will want to see a happy, strong parent that they can return to whether it's tomorrow, next week, next year or in the future.. One day closer x
#parentalchildabduction #parentalalienation #onedaycloser #lovehome #lovespain
The situation people find themselves in is not going to last forever... We are one day closer..
Until then, look after yourself. It is so important because your child will need you.. There might be a lot of repair work to do when the time arises.
Always show love for your child rather than anger to your ex and their behaviour (you cant control their behaviour) .. Your child may already be being wrongfully taught that you are an aggressor.. Dont provide the bullets for your ex to shoot you with..
Celebrate key dates like birthdays and Xmas.. Even in your childs absence.. I have kept cards/gifts/photos from family and friends for almost 10 years now.. I am so glad I asked that of family.. Especially since Aleyah's grandmother is no longer with us..
But, one day Aleyah will see this to help her understand that she has never been forgotten by her paternal family.. and never will be...
Stay strong all
ALWAYS loving you.. ALWAYS thinking about you.. FOREVER your dad.. Xx #aleyahmonkdalton #onedaycloser (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk)
Another Xmas come and gone.. Once again, it hasn't been easy but thank you so much to all close to me who made a difficult time of year as enjoyable as was possible...
Thanks to Matt, Mark, David, Claire and Joyce for making us feel so welcome on our visit. To Laura and Mark and the kids (Michelles grandchildren) for sharing Christmas Day festivities with us and the wonderful meal and also of course to Michelle who is always so supportive and really is my rock.. Love ya!!
Thanks also to family and friends who I really do appreciate the many messages of support.. And for the cards that include Aleyah even though she has been absent now for almost 10 years.. I keep every single message for her so she will see for herself how much she is loved and missed xxxx
I so hope my daughter Aleyah had a wonderful day... I hope with all of my heart that 2019 will be our year to be reunited...
I pray that abducting/alienating parents are given a conscience and realise how wrong their behaviour is and put a stop to it for their children's sake!!
Thoughts with all good parents who are so wrongfully alienated and/or restricted from being with their children and of course to the children who are wrongfully stopped from being with a parent and one side of their family..
This madness won't go on forever.. Stay strong and don't be beaten.. whether it's tomorrow, in the near future or further in time, your children will need you so don't give up!
ALWAYS loving you ALEYAH... FOREVER your Dad.. One more day closer xx
s.monkdalton@gmail.com
0034 622 925 754
Below is a link to an interesting article / blog
I'm quite aligned to Karens thoughts on parental alienation.
Parental child abduction is often an action triggered by parental alienation behaviour (not always). In those cases, impartiality is part of the problem; Not the solution in my opinion.
Unfortunately, some organisations although doing some very good work in some areas are sadly financially driven to state impatiality. This I feel is a problem.
There needs to be a line between what is right and what is wrong in order to effectively prompt change.
September 10th - World Suicide Prevention Day.... What can you do?
Connect - ask how someone is
If you think someone might be feeling unwell, depressed; don’t be afraid to ask how they are.
Anyone can experience a mental health problem, so being able to talk about it is important to us all. And you don’t need to be an expert on mental health. Often, small everyday actions can make the biggest difference.
They might want to talk about it, or they might not. But just letting them know they don’t have to avoid the issue with you is important. Just spending time with the person lets them know you care and can help you understand what they’re going through.
====================
Thoughts today with all who are or who have experienced suicidal thoughts and families that have been affected..
A message for Gautam's daughter who some of my contacts related to parental child abduction / parental alienation may know: your Dad fought to be in your life until his very last breath.. He is not forgotten and NEVER will be.. I hope you will someday know of the love and dedication he had for you.. You were always his angel ... Xx #worldsuicidepreventionday #suicide #talk #connect
3 years since we started Walk Cross Borders. 44 marathons in 44 days to raise awareness of parental child abduction, parental alienation and the Reunite charity and to show MY OWN daughter a small part of what I would do for her..
This started at Orihuela Court in Spain and ended at RCJ London.. Quite a lot of awareness was raised during this event but sadly, In this last few years, there has been little progress in reuniting with my daughter, mediation point blank refused and very tragically, my daughter has lost a loving grandmother perminently.
I will keep reaching out to plea to the maternal family for this bs to end and stop the disgraceful alienating tactics that continues to keep us apart.. 8 years stolen so far :(... One more day closer..
#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #walkacrossborders
http://walkacrossborders.blogspot.com/
I'm sure some days are testing. That's what being a parent is all about but I am sure that many families that have been affected by parental child abduction and/or alienation would love to be in your position because many have not been able to even communicate with their child for months... or like myself, sometimes years and sadly this is mostly due to the selfishness of the other "parent" as well as the family court systems that appear to facilitate this abuse.
A parent tries to do everything they can to resolve the situation and often go directly to a lawyer and pay a retainer if they have the money or look to family and friends to help them.
They may find these lawyers with very little research into their background in family law or international cross border child issues as the urgency to resolve the situation does not allow time to do this research.
The parent does this as a gut reaction as they believe that the system is BOUND to protect them and their children.. . After all... to steal a child is obviously a crime.. WRONG AGAIN !! Well... it is a crime but is it really enforced as being one???
Even with the protection of the Hague Convention and Brussels II revised which is supposed to protect from this occurring. So many stalling and devious tactics are used by "legal experts" which are abusive, cruel and immoral such as trying to portray the affected parent as unfit with false allegations.
The system as it stands is set up for these tactics to be used as there is little or no deterrent nor accountability for using them.
In fact, they are sometimes rewarded with legal aid which is part of the reason that this "method" is used.
Sadly, there is no thought whatsoever by an abducting/alienating "parent" or their legal advisors into the possible long term emotional affects on the family and the children..
The affected parent continues to do everything they can to resolve the situation.. Paying additional expenses for lawyers and barristers and well as travelling back and forth to the country they have been abducted or removed to.
They often get themselves in so much financial trouble as a result of this that they might never recover from..
"He / she seems to be happy"
"All must be ok because they are with the other parent"
"You need to continue with your life because they will come back someday"
"They will work out the truth someday"
Etc.. Etc.. Etc...
If you are affected, I am sure you can add much more to this list as you are wiping away your tears on a daily basis because, to you, the first person you think of a the start of the day is your absent child and continues throughout each and every day..
You learn to become stronger on the outside but it never becomes easier and your love for your child never lessens.
The fact that the child was effectively stolen and retained from their other parent and family no longer seems a concern to most.. and the longer this goes on, the less concern there seems to be.
These parents are so frustrated about this because the longer this goes on actually shows even more how wrong this situation is.
People sometimes no longer to even relate you to being a parent...
Remember the Xmas cards etc where your child is no longer mentioned - EVEN from close friends and family? Hurts doesn't it??
The abducting / alienating parent has been allowed to erase you and your family from their lives aided and abetted by the system/authorities that you put your trust in.
So at this point, what does a parent do? Give up? Pretend their child never even existed, box the emotions away? It seems that this is what is expected..
Some find the strength to carry on doing everything they can to be reunited with their child and look at different ways of achieving this... but the more time goes on, the less help they seem to get ... even from organisation that specialise in these issues.
A parent becomes so frustrated and sometimes feel that talking about what they can be doing to reunite with their child becomes a taboo subject.. After all, they've had the time to "get over it"
People need to understand that they will NEVER "Get over it"... They just learn to be stronger and cope as best they can with the situation.
If you have a family member of a close friend in a similar position, please give them some thought from time to time. They might go about their lives wearing a plastic smile but inside they hurt just as much, if not more, today than they did when this whole nightmare started.
One Day Closer all xxxx
If your children "are your world" then why do you HATE half of who they are so much that you feel the need to alienate them from the other parent and family?
#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #stoptheabuse
Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual walk will take place this year on Saturday 15th September at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London.
This walk is primarily about getting parents, families and supporters together who have been affected by parental child abduction.
Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus. However, if you do wish to sponsor us to help Reunite support parents and families affected by parental child abduction, you can do so on my Justgiving page
https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/smd-reunite
If you would like to participate, please contact reunite on : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or reunite@dircon.co.uk and let them know you would like to support them so they can estimate numbers. Thanks guys xx
I hope they are given help with this process and not simply left to it as it will be a difficult process I am sure.
Another positive is that the other parent admitted using false allegations as they were advised to by lawyers..
Maybe the family courts need to open their eyes and see that this is a tactic to achieve an objective and actually provide some form of deterrent and accountability for legal professionals as well as alienating parents?? ..
Until they do, it will continue to be a tool used by alienating parents and malicious legal teams without any thought for the possible long term damage on the children xx
Fathers Day tomorrow here in Spain 'EI dia del padre"...It really is so difficult and the emotions heighten even more on key dates... Please don't forget that parents who cannot see their children due to abduction and /or alienation ARE still daddies or mummies on these days. The difference being that it cannot be acknowledged by the children that they love with all of their hearts... Thoughts with all affected parents, grandparents, families AND of course, their children.... One day closer x
#diadelpadre
