I'm quite aligned to Karens thoughts on parental alienation.
Parental child abduction is often an action triggered by parental alienation behaviour (not always). In those cases, impartiality is part of the problem; Not the solution in my opinion.
Unfortunately, some organisations although doing some very good work in some areas are sadly financially driven to state impatiality. This I feel is a problem.
There needs to be a line between what is right and what is wrong in order to effectively prompt change.
Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual walk will take place this year on Saturday 15th September at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London.
This walk is primarily about getting parents, families and supporters together who have been affected by parental child abduction.
Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus. However, if you do wish to sponsor us to help Reunite support parents and families affected by parental child abduction, you can do so on my Justgiving page
If you would like to participate, please contact reunite on : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or reunite@dircon.co.uk and let them know you would like to support them so they can estimate numbers. Thanks guys xx
We recently had a visit from Reunite International's CEO and she discussed with me a real need they have to updating their PC support system as it is very outdated and not compatible with some of the software they wish to use to run their adviceline / support system.
As you might know, Reunite International Child Abduction Centre are a registered charity who support parents and families worldwide who have been affected by parental child abduction so for obvious reasons, it is a charity close to my heart.
However, it is a small charity with a limited budget so I thought that maybe there could be something we could do to help them reach the target of £20,000 that they have been quoted..
With that in mind, I set up a justgiving "Team" page where we can add any events and fundraising we do as we go along...
If you would like to donate to this fund or organise an event etc to help them reach this target, click on the link.
If you are wanting to organise your own event for this fund, why not set up a JustGiving page and add your page to this team by clicking on the "Join the Team" link at the bottom of the team page.
Fathers Day tomorrow here in Spain 'EI dia del padre"...It really is so difficult and the emotions heighten even more on key dates... Please don't forget that parents who cannot see their children due to abduction and /or alienation ARE still daddies or mummies on these days. The difference being that it cannot be acknowledged by the children that they love with all of their hearts... Thoughts with all affected parents, grandparents, families AND of course, their children.... One day closer x
#diadelpadre
With International Women's Day, I could name several who should have some recognition but as it is international, there are very few more deserving than Alison Shalaby of Reunite International Child Abduction Centre for her work in raising awareness of parental child abduction and her support of parents and families affected by this.. Thanks Alison.. xxx
#reuniteinternationalchildabductioncentre #parentalchildabduction #parentalalienation #internationalwomansday
I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my friends and family a wonderful Christmas and a very happy 2018
I pray that my own daughter Aleyah has an amazing Christmas too. She has had such an eventful year being cast as Summer in the West End Musical School of Rock under the name of Aaliyah Monk. https://youtu.be/dRfLRS2-lzg
I was very proud and obviously very emotional when I saw the show a few times this year, all be it an anonymous face in the crowd. I could not stay away from such an important moment in her life and continue to keep pleading with her mother to end this madness and allow her to be reunited with her paternal family who love her wholeheartedly.
Hopefully 2018 will be the year that this happens. It WILL happen at some point but it would be so much better for her if this happens with her mother´s blessing sooner rather than later. She must realise that I will never ever give up.
One more day closer
Thank you Andy Ormiston for inviting us to the lovely tranquil setting of Aroca Seiquer & Asociados based in Rocajuna area for the presentation and launch of the Torrevieja Outlook 2018 Calendar which shows some of the wonderful tourist attractions in the Costa Blanca.
This is the calendar's 13th year of publishing which is done to help to support a number of very worthwhile charities.
A number of calendars were donated to us to help to support the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre charity and can be purchased from us for a very small fee of €5 (+ postage if applicable). All of which can be paid directly to our JustGiving page
It was lovely to see all of you wonderful parents and families at the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre walk last weekend at Stave Hill Ecology Park.
Thank you to the staff at the park and the team at Reunite for hosting the event which on a personal note, I find to be very helpful and also enjoyable.
The main object of the event was to bring families and supporters together as the issues many parents and families face are very difficult to understand unless you or a family member have been affected.
The assumption of the public is that parental child abduction and alienation is simply a domestic issue but the possible affects lay much deeper than this psychologically and sometimes physically.
These issues affect not only the absent parent. It also affects the families and the child. The tactics that are sometimes used to alienate a child can also result in deep and lasting issues for the child that the alienating parent claims to love.
I appreciate the work that Reunite do in helping to raise awareness of parental child abduction throughout the world and also the emotional support they give through their adviceline. It is very important to support organisations like this.
If you would like to donate to the charity, any amounts would be appreciated to help to keep their adviceline alive and to assist in the very important work that they do.
Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your
details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send
unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to
the charity and make sure Gift Aid is reclaimed on every eligible
donation by a UK taxpayer. So it’s the most efficient way to donate - I
raise more, whilst saving time and cutting costs for the charity.
There are such obvious and common patterns in behaviour and "tactics"
that are evident in many cases of parental child abduction and
alienation.
When reading many articles/posts, it seems like they are all
working from the same handbook of emotional abuse... In these cases why
don't the courts and childcare "professionals" identify these patterns?
If they do, why do they ignore them?
Why do they not hold accountable
parents that resort to false allegations and perjury?
Why is the child
not automatically provided emotional help in family law cases? They are
the most important people and can only ever be winners if the parents
can be amicable so why is mediation and shared parenting not the model that the courts
encourage as priority? Could this be for financial reasons?
In mediation, if a parent shows that they are not prepared to work with the other parent in the best interest of the child, shouldn't sanctions be applied? I know there is an arguement that an alienating parent may go through the motions for the benefit of the court rather than the
child... but when breaches of memorandums of understanding are
made, shouldn't the parent breaching those agreements be sanctioned in some way?
Sadly, parents
can go through the court process and be let down in very similar ways.. We
know the system is broken but yet we are still forced to use work with it (until
we are forced to decide that it will get us nowhere in its current form and/or
we just can't afford to progress matters through the court without
draining us completely which is also draining our children's financial
security)..
Personally, I will continue to raise awareness in any way I can but
unless parents and families stand together and highlight these issues,
it will be difficult to apply enough pressure to prompt change..
Sadly,
people accept things the way they are or judge the non-custodial parent
with a thought of "no smoke without fire" without giving a second
thought to the lies, deception, perjury and failure of the courts which
brought things to this point.
Acceptance of spurious, malicious and cruel allegations and blatant perjury in the courts that we put our trust in to protect us and our children is abusive in itself . It can be a direct CAUSE of psychological issues due to emotional trauma and has even been linked to suicide, especially in men. Please please please, review your processes. It is assisting the destruction of many families by aiding and abetting the alienation of children with half of their family as well as the emotional health of parents who will do whatever they can to be in the lives of their children. - One Day Closer
Our flights are booked for Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual Walk at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London on Saturday 23rd September.
This walk is all about getting parents, families and supporters together. Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus. However, if you do wish to sponsor me to help them support parents and families affected by parental child abduction, you can do so on my Justgiving page
If you would like to join us there, please contact reunite on : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or reunite@dircon.co.uk and let them know you would like to support them so they can estimate numbers. Thanks guys xx
On Saturday 10th June, we were very kindly invited as guests to a Gentleman's Evening with the Ladies (and their gentlemen) of the Costa Blanca Lodge of Tranquility No 52 at the beautiful Hotel Montepiedra.
The ladies of the lodge have supported Reunite International Child Abduction Centre in 2016 and 2017. Their kindness, hard work and generosity is greatly appreciated by all at Reunite as well as the many parents who contact the charity for help, support and advice.
The mediation service is a vital part of reunite and as such, they decided to use the generous donations in 2016 to make improvements to their two mediation rooms so they can provide parents with a comfortable, tranquil space when attending meetings and mediation.
The evening was very enjoyable and had the most amazing menu and surroundings. I would highly recommend this hotel for all who wish to stay here or organise an event in the future.
Sadly, representitives from Reunite could not attend the event this year, however, I was honoured to be able to give a speech about the charity and the work that they do on their behalf
Thank you all for your continued support and friendship
2. What documents are going to be required to support any court action?
Copies of the child’s birth certificate, your marriage certificate (if relevant), divorce
order (again, if relevant) and any existing court orders relating to your child.
3. What if I know my child has been taken abroad, but I don’t know where?
This may involve Interpol, tipstaff officers and/or private detectives. If necessary, seek court
orders to require banks, schools, telecoms companies, etc. to reveal the location of the abducting
parent.
4. Once you know the child’s
location, what then?
Court proceedings may then take place in the country where the child has been abducted to. They may be an order made to make the child "ward or court" and an order made to stop the child leaving the jurisdiction. The child's passport will also most likely be ceased.
There are guidelines over the amount of time a return order or decision should take (If signatories of Hague Convention / Brussels 2) . From experience, I can advise that this may not be adhered to and you could be facing a long, emotional, expensive legal battle. My advice would be IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, try to resolve matters amicably. Possibly with the help of mediation and counselling (ask Reunite about this). You are both parents EQUALLY. Your children are not possessions !
5. What happens if court solution is required (Hague)?
Firstly, do your homework on who should be representing you. There are specialist lawyers in this area of law and can be very expensive. There are also self proclaimed advocates / heroes / warriors who will take prey on parents in such a vulnerable position. Take extreme care. They cannot provide the easy solution that they might claim to make and can cause more harm than good.
Ask if you will be entitled to legal aid assistance. One of the difficult decisions to make is who to instruct for representation. Reunite unfortunately cannot recommend specific legal professionals.
The abducting parent will be required by the court to appear before it to confirm whether
s/he is willing to return the child. If not, the court will then set a date on which the return
petition will be heard (which will include hearing evidence from the abducting parent as well as
the parent left behind).
6. Will my child’s opinion be sought?
Provided the child is of any age that her views should be taken into account, this may be a
requirement. The court may order social services / CAFCASS to interview the child (with interpreters
if necessary) and – although this would not happen in all countries – the judge may also
want to see and speak to the child. This is NOT a reason to coach and manipulate your child. Parental alienation IS an abuse. Your child should NEVER be subjected to this.
7. How long will it take for the court to give its decision?
Every case is different, but some countries do not adhere to the "strict" time limits that
international law dictates. Some countries are VERY poor at enforcing the international rules that govern parental child
abduction.
8. What if the court rules my child should be returned?
If the child is not then voluntarily handed back to you, a request may be needed for the
police to remove the child from the abducting parent and deliver him/her to you. Even if
the abducting parent appeals the return order.
------------------------
The contents of this blog post are the thoughts of the writer
Sadly, these tactics are used over and over again without deterrent or accountability for doing so...
Dear Alienating / abducting "parents"
You have proven your
point that you can take "ownership" of your child by abducting and
manipulating the system to achieve your goal in destroying the parental
and family bond of the child and family that loves the child
wholeheartedly.
You have
proven that you can make false allegations, lie and deceive the courts
and authorities in any way that you want to without any deterrent or
accountability for doing so.
You have proven that you can portray
a good parent to be an absolute monster and also coach your child in an
attempt to have them believe your lies.
You have proven that you
can use the system over and over again as long as the child's other
parent and family do everything they can to be part of your child's
life.
You have shown that you are prepared to emotionally harm your child and your child's family who love each other unconditionally.
Does this make you proud? Does it give you a feeling of accomplishment
to not only abuse your child's family but also your child him/her self?
Do you realise that this can affect your child, that you claim to love
for the rest of their childhood lives and even into adulthood? Possibly
even for the rest of their lives?
Is this setting a good example for
them being parents when they are older?
Do you realise also that
when those children do start looking for answers, that the alienation
that you are inflicting right now could cause your child to resent you.. and want to alienate you completely from their adult lives?
It is not too late to change your ways. Stop your abuse now.. Please.. For the sake of your child/children.
Anon (bound by gagging orders to "protect" the child from the truth)
Rewarding career opportunity advertised by Reunite International Child Abduction Centre.
Reunite International Child Abduction Centre is looking for an office administrator to assist with the smooth running of our city centre office.
The main focus of the role is too :
· Administer and manage the reunite mediation service
· Provide reception duties including staffing the administration line, welcoming visitors and managing emails
· Assist with fundraising events / seminars and general office administration
The successful candidate must be an excellent communicator with strong interpersonal and administrative skills, have plenty of common sense and be able to work as part of a small team.
Hours 9:30 am – 5:30 pm – Salary £18,200 per annum
Please send CV and covering letter to the postal address below..
Reunite International
Child Abduction Centre
PO Box 7124
Leicester
LE1 7XX
United Kingdom
Registered Charity No. 1075729
Closing date 31 st January 2017.
Skills you have will greatly needed by reunite International Child Abduction Centre, we hope that after you send your RESUME to Full time Office Administrator reunite International Child Abduction Centre, you can grow up your career.
For those who are parents who are not able to see their children through abduction/alienation, my heart goes out to you and empathise with the hurt that you will undoubtedly be feeling.
Also so much thought for those who are suffering the bereavement of their children through illness or accident. It must be such a very traumatic time and must hurt so much in particular on these key dates.
Please stay strong and try to enjoy the season as much as possible with the people around you that are important in your life.
If you have your children / grandchildren with you this year, treasure every single moment with them. They will never be this age again.. You are very blessed..xx
Thank you to everybody that have stayed the distance, inspired me and helped me to stay focused and positive when I have needed it most. Also to the crazy loons I call friends who keep me smiling...
I really can't put into words how much I appreciate all that have given so much love and support. I'm blessed to have some amazing friends and family.
Thank you so much for your continued support in 2016. Our efforts and
your kindness has now raised an amazing £6,222 in total for Reunite International Child Abduction Centre through One Day Closer.
A special thank you to Costa Blanca Tranquillity Lodge, as well as the The Fire Station
bar, Shani and Andy Ormiston, all the football teams competing in the
Reunite International Shield including the singers who entertained in
the evening events, those who supported my skydive and also a huge thank
you to Michelle Clark who has been my rock during all of this. One more day closer... https://www.justgiving.com/teams/reunite-spain
At the beginning of the month, it was announced that the government has decided to opt in to the
recast of the EU legislation known as the Brussels IIa regulation. The
regulation outlines procedures to be used in cross-border family issues
within the EU, such as the recognition of existing court orders and the
abduction of children between EU states, and is currently being used by
UK courts.
Reunite took part in the government’s consultation on
the recast of Brussels IIa, and whether the UK should opt in to further
discussions. They stated that the government shares their view that it
is important for the UK to be part of the recast, even with Brexit on
the horizon.
Reunite feel the impact of the proposed changes on families
within the EU, including the families or British nationals living in
other EU states, could be significant.
Reunite made a submission to the Justice Committee’s consultation on ‘the implications of Brexit for the justice system’ shortly following the announcement.
The EU’s Brussels IIa regulation is currently integrated into UK national law. Brussels IIa allows for orders in relation to parental
responsibility to be recognised from one EU Member State to another, and
adds extra obligations on Member States for the benefit of children in
inter-EU 1980 Hague abduction cases.
As a
result, leaving the EU and potentially losing this key piece of
legislation is going to have an impact on UK law and international
family cases, and this needs to be taken into consideration by Parliament
whatever happens next.
Reunite hopes that their submission will be beneficial to the consultation and
ultimately help to inform Parliament to make the best decisions for
families and abducted children.
On the 17th November, Reunite organised a parents get together in London. This was a great opportunity to have a chat and share experiences with
other parents and a few members of the reunite team over a drink and
some nibbles.
They organise these meetings every second month. If you would like to attend one of the future meetings, send an email to Mitta at reunite@dircon.co.uk who will send you further details.
Sadly, several new cases were reported during the month of November involving UK, Spain, Poland and Jamaica. Reunite aim provide ongoing advice and support to the parents who speak with them and work with them towards what will hopefully be a positive outcome
for their children.
If you are affected by Parental Child Abduction and need advice, please call the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre advice line - 0044 (0)116 2556 234.
Later in the month, Reunite hosted a seminar with the British Embassy in Seoul on the 1980 Hague
Convention, with the aim of informing local lawyers about child
abduction and how the 1980 Hague Convention works.
There were a number of speakers, who included the Hague Permanent Bureau,
Judge Kim and Professor Suk from Korea, the Korean Central Authority,
Justice Bennett from Australia, John Mellor of CAFCASS, Anne-Marie
Hutchinson and our Reunite's Alison Shalaby.
Reunite hope that this seminar has helped to increase knowledge and
confidence amongst professionals, in an effort to secure the best
possible outcomes for the children in 1980 Hague cases.
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Also, late in November, Reunite's Sam Chapman attended the Embassy Consular Conference, talking about the work of reunite with
FCO's Consular Director, Julia Longbottom, and London's consular
community.
Here in Spain, we would like to offer our huge appreciation to the Costa Blanca Tranquillity Lodge for their continued support for the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre Charity. Through their efforts, they have raised approximately £1,500 that will be used towards updating the centre offices.
We would also like to give our best wishes and support to Shani Ormiston, who has supported the charity for a number of years through events and cd sales.
Her latest release "You Gotta Let It Go" can be seen on YouTube
As an update to the previous post, Shani has now produced a video for this song on YouTube and we would like to congratulate her and all involved for such an amazing job. It is brilliant!!
Watch Shani's video below.
Could I ask all to play and share her video as much as possible and give her the support she deserves?
Reunite will be holding an informal parent get-together this week
if you'd like to join them.
This is a great opportunity to have a chat and
share experiences with other parents and a few members of the reunite
team over a drink and some nibbles.
They will be meeting on the
evening of the 17th November in London, so if you'd like to join them
please send an email to Mitta at reunite@dircon.co.uk who will send you
further details.
