Monday, 3 October 2016

Shani Ormiston new single - Good Luck from us xx

We would like to wish Shani Ormiston the best of luck with the launch of her new single "You Gotta Let It Go" which is available now on media download site CD Baby (click here)



It is also available on iTunes, amazon.com and Spotify.


Shani has supported the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre charity for a number years now through her previous CD "Once Upon A Time" and also through a number of concerts/events in Spain.





 You can see some of her videos below and also check out her website on www.shaniormiston.com





Thank you so much Shani. We wish you the best of success with everything that you do. xxx



Reunite Walk - Thank you for your support

On Saturday 17th September, Reunite International Child Abduction Centre organised a walk at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London.



The primary objective of this event was to bring together parents and families that may have been affected by international child abduction as well as supporters of the charity.

Reunite would like to thank everybody who turned up to support the event and hope that this helped to show that you are not alone in your individual situations.

It was a pleasure for Michelle and I to be there for this year's event. We met some amazing and courageous people/parents as well as many contacts that we have previously connected with from previous years or through social media. 





















Wednesday, 7 September 2016

Reunite Walk - Stave Hill Ecological Park, London

Are you going to be joining us for the Reunite Walk on Saturday 17th September 2016 at Stave Hill Ecological Park, London?


Reunite International Child Abduction Centre have organised their walk every year since 2010 and it is a great opportunity to bring together parents and supporters who have been in contact with them over the years. It is only about 5-6 km so is perfect for supporters of all ages and should be a lovely day out.

It is also a chance to raise money in support of their advice line so that they can continue to offer advice, information and support to parents and those affected by international parental child abduction.

The focus of the day is to bring people together, so there is NO pressure to raise money

If you can come along or would like some more information please send them an email at reunite@dircon.co.uk or phone +44 (0)116 2555 345 so they know how many people will be there on the day.

https://www.facebook.com/events/319510375053372/

We hope you´ll be able to join them. They also state that you please feel free to bring friends and family with you.





The team will be meeting at Stave Hill Ecological Park, London at around 10.30am and hope to start the walk around 12.00pm.



Please give your support... We will be there and you can sponsor us through our JustGiving page https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Onedaycloser-Reunite

For all the parents, families and children who are doing everything they can to be reunited, please.. keep strong... You ARE one day closer....



Wednesday, 24 August 2016

"You Don't Have to Hit to Hurt..."

Have you ever been in a position where it seems that somebody, or some people will go out of their way to harm you and/or your family?

This can be physical harm; or it could be emotional. Sadly, the latter seems to be tolerated or accepted and yet, the emotional harm can leave scars that can last a lifetime. The difference is, they are not always visible.

Those who are coping with parental child abduction and/or parental alienation know all too well the emotional effects on them personally whether they are a parent, a family member or a child.

The Fathers Rights movement group estimate that 24,000 men a year commit suicide as a result of family court issues. If this figure is to be believed, when you add this figure to women and children who are affected, the figures will be so much higher..

When you add this to other emotional abuses such as false allegations, bullying & cyber bullying, defamation, harassment, you can only imagine what the figures might be.

I will stress here that these are suicide rates!! MANY MANY more people suffer emotionally and sometimes physically each day from these type of abuses. So the question needs to be asked, is society doing enough to deter this? 

I recall from my childhood the saying "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me".. The facts are... "Words CAN hurt people"


What would your response be if it was found that somebody or some people were targeting a family member or a friend? I would like to think that readers of this blog would do what they can to protect that person and not be a bystander or even become a "participant abuser".




It is quite common in narcissistic behaviour that if a person is not successful in causing emotional damage to their target directly, that they will then aim for friends, associates, businesses and the general public in their attempts to harm that person. Whatever they feel their reason is, this weapon of choice can be a deadly one.

It is only recently that cyber bullying has become a crime. This is a positive step but unfortunately, the number of reported cases is low in contrast to the amount of times we see this occurring and social media themselves do very little to help the situation. They advise reporting and blocking but sadly, once an abusive/defamatory post has been publicly posted, the damage has already been done. No deterrent or accountability for the attacker.


The advice for the target is not to respond no matter how tempted you are to do so but to gather as much evidence as possible and report the matter to the police. However, this behaviour is so common on social media, it could not possibly be policed effectively so the responsibility should be to the social media moderators and the public themselves.

Another huge concern about abusive social media posts are that sometimes they can come from somebody close to the target as they might have had private argument or debate over a personal issue. Social media should not be the platform to voice this. People need to start thinking of the power of this form of media. It can be an amazing tool to do so many positive things. However, when not used in this way, it can be a very damaging form of abuse

I watched a TV programme the other day where "celebrities" were given the opportunity to investigate and face internet trolls and it enforced my thought that these people are cowards who have very little life of their own so instead, they try to destroy the lives of others..


Next time you see somebody premeditatedly trying to inflict emotional harm on another, how will you act?

Tuesday, 16 August 2016

Parents affected by parental child abduction / alienation - focusing on priorities

For some time, I have spoken with a number of parents about the situations they have found themselves in and, through my own experiences, I can totally understand some of the emotions that have been shown.

These range from hurt, despair, even to the point of suicidal thoughts to frustration, anger and directing their despair towards not only the other parent, but also the authorities, psychologists, childcare professionals and the court system. After-all, they have all contributed to their child being "stolen" and/or "psychologically abused" haven't they?

I have tried to address some of the thoughts of a parent in some of my earlier blogs

Parental Child Abduction - Do people really care?

Understanding the Stages of Grief applied to those affected by Parental Child Abduction / Alienation

Can you forgive the other parent for abducting / alienating your child? 

However, we also need to take a serious look at how these parents quest for "justice" might be affecting their chances of reuniting with their children as it could be perceived as placing their children into a hostile environment.

Each case is very different but many have their similarities too such as false allegations, teaching/coaching fear and hatred to the child, frustrating any contact and many other heinous tactics. These behaviours are often ignored or dismissed by the professionals that an affected parent tries to put their faith and trust in so this often results in the display of despair and anger that I was referring to earlier. Added to this is the cost of litigation to actually fight their corner which can financially destroy a parent to the point of no recovery..

When affected parents react to this in a verbally / textually hostile or aggressive way, or in any other way that might show some emotional instability, this will almost certainly be used against this parent as a reason why they should NOT be reunited with their child(ren). Not only that, the perception could be that the parent has anger issues and is a reason why they do not see their child rather than the effect of the frustration, hurt and despair that is resulting from the emotional abuse THEY are being subjected to.

As parents coping with this situation, you should not lose focus about what is of primary importance to you... Your children's well-being and to be reunited; re-establishing a healthy parental-child relationship where you can be in your child's life.

Your child needs the loving parent they had... Not a broken shell of that parent..

Ask yourself this... What is most important to you... To "get justice" or to be with your child?

I can almost guarantee that if a parent continues down the road of blame and getting justice (even if justified), this will be an obstacle of where you want to be.. and will continue to be so the longer it continues.

I am not saying here that a parent should pretend that this has not occurred; nor am I saying that it can be easily forgiven - especially when the behaviour is ongoing. What I AM saying is that focus needs to be on what you can do for your child to best help him/her through this horrific situation. You cannot change what the other parent might have done but you can influence the future.

It is very important that you do not change from being the alienated to being an alienator if and when contact is restored. Time will restore it's own truths, children will grow to seek their own answers. Why would you want to hurt them with adult issues in their childhood? They have suffered enough through the alienating tactics of the other parent.

Should the other parent "get away with" what they've done (or what they are doing)? No... absolutely they shouldn't... What they are doing is abuse and these behaviours need deterrent and accountability.. but you are not going to change anything by taking a hostile approach other than giving that parent an excuse to say "I told you so".. It is playing right into their hands.. Don't give them the ammunition to shoot you with!

Is there an easy solution? No.. very sadly not... You cannot control the actions of the other parent nor anybody else for that matter but for the sake of your children, you really do need to try as much as you can to not react to provocation and whenever you feel hurt or anger, before acting/reacting, think about how your actions might impact your child.



It is so important that you look after yourself and keep in mind that you need to do everything possible to build the foundations for you to be reunited and back in your child's life. Healthy mind and healthy body. Be productive, be positive and don't be beaten by this horrific situation.

Never give up and keep strong all..

One Day Closer xx





Thursday, 11 August 2016

Reunite International Sponsored Walk - Stave Hill Ecological Park, London - Sat 17th September - 12pm

Reunite International Child Abduction Centre have organised their sponsored walk every year since 2010 and it is a great opportunity to bring together parents and supporters who have been in contact with them over the years. 


It is also a chance to raise money in support of their advice line so that they can continue to offer advice, information and support to parents and those affected by international parental child abduction. However the focus of the day is to bring people together, so there is NO pressure to raise money.

If you can come along or would like some more information please send them an email at reunite@dircon.co.uk or phone +44
(0)116 2555 345 so they know how many people will be there on the day.

We hope you´ll be able to join them. They also state that you please feel free to bring friends and family with you.


The team will be meeting at Stave Hill Ecological Park, London at around 10.30am and are due to start the walk around 12.00pm. Please give your support... One Day Closer will be there and you can sponsor us through our JustGiving page https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/Onedaycloser-Reunite

Thursday, 28 July 2016

Parental Child Abduction / Alienation - Thoughts of a parent

Dear Parents

How are you today? I hope all is well and you are blessed to be able to treasure some moments of your day for quality time with your children...Please treasure every single second.

I'm sure some days are testing. That's what being a parent is all about but I am sure that many families that have been affected by parental child abduction and/or alienation would love to be in your position because many have not been able to even communicate with their child for months... or like myself, sometimes years and sadly this is mostly due to the selfishness of the other "parent" as well as the family court systems that appear to facilitate this abuse.


I write today because I am feeling particularly down about the situation some parents find themselves in. When an abduction occurs, at the beginning, there is absolute uproar with friends and family.

"How can the other parent do this?"
"It is so wrong for this to happen. What can we do to help?"

Fantastic!.. There is an instant rallying together to try to resolve the situation because obviously, the authorities won't allow this to happen for long will they?..... WRONG !!

There is no rush to resolve the situation with the authorities (that would reduce their pay cheques). 

A parent tries to do everything they can to resolve the situation and often go directly to a lawyer and pay a retainer if they have the money or look to family and friends to help them. 

They may find these lawyers with very little research into their background in family law or international cross border child issues as the urgency to resolve the situation does not allow time to do this research.


The parent does this as a gut reaction as they believe that the system is BOUND to protect them and their children.. . After all... to steal a child is obviously a crime..  WRONG AGAIN !! Well... it is a crime but is it really enforced as being one???

Even with the protection of the Hague Convention and Brussels II revised which is supposed to protect from this occurring. So many stalling and devious tactics are used by "legal experts" which are abusive, cruel and immoral such as trying to portray the affected parent as unfit with false allegations.

The system as it stands is set up for these tactics to be used as there is little or no deterrent nor accountability for using them. 

In fact, they are sometimes rewarded with legal aid which is part of the reason that this "method" is used. 

Sadly, there is no thought whatsoever by an abducting/alienating "parent" or their legal advisors into the possible long term emotional affects on the family and the children..

The affected parent continues to do everything they can to resolve the situation.. Paying additional expenses for lawyers and barristers and well as travelling back and forth to the country they have been abducted or removed to. 

They often get themselves in so much financial trouble as a result of this that they might never recover from..



 As the situation goes on and on with no or limited resolution, the concern of friends and family often diminishes. Instead of the initial uproar, they sometimes hear comments like..

"It will all work out someday when they are older"

"He / she seems to be happy"

"All must be ok because they are with the other parent"

"You need to continue with your life because they will come back someday"
etc etc etc

"They will work out the truth someday" 

If you are affected, I am sure you can add much more to this list as you are wiping away your tears on a daily basis because, to you, the first person you think of a the start of the day is your absent child and continues throughout each and every day..

 You learn to become stronger on the outside but it never becomes easier and your love for your child never lessens. 


The fact that the child was effectively stolen and retained from their other parent and family no longer seems a concern to most.. and the longer this goes on, the less concern there seems to be. 

These parents are so frustrated about this because the longer this goes on actually shows even more how wrong this situation is. 

People sometimes no longer to even relate you to being a parent... 

Remember the Xmas cards etc where your child is no longer mentioned - EVEN from close friends and family? Hurts doesn't it??

 The abducting / alienating parent has been allowed to erase you and your family from their lives aided and abetted by the system/authorities that you put your trust in. 

So at this point, what does a parent do? Give up? Pretend their child never even existed, box the emotions away? It seems that this is what is expected..

Some find the strength to carry on doing everything they can to be reunited with their child and look at different ways of achieving this... but the more time goes on, the less help they seem to get ... even from organisation that specialise in these issues.

A parent becomes so frustrated and sometimes feel that talking about what they can be doing to reunite with their child becomes a taboo subject.. After all, they've had the time to "get over it"

People need to understand that they will NEVER "Get over it"... They just learn to be stronger and cope as best they can with the situation.

If you have a family member of a close friend in a similar position, please give them some thought from time to time. They might go about their lives wearing a plastic smile but inside they hurt just as much, if not more, today than they did when this whole nightmare started. 

One Day Closer all xxxx



Thursday, 14 July 2016

One Parent One Bike - Cologne to Greece

On 21st July 2016 Martin Bridges will be embarking on a 5 week, 2,500km solo cycle ride from Cologne to Greece to hopefully be with his son on his 6th birthday and to raise awareness about international child abduction.

Martin is a fantastic guy who supported me on the UK stages of Walk Across Borders last year. Please, if you can, give him your support and encouragement for him to complete his journey



Every penny raised will go directly to Reunite International - the only charity dedicated to helping families who are split across international borders. Find out more about their work at www.reunite.org

He would like to thank everybody for their donations and also a special mention to the team at Pearson Cycles. Check them out at www.pearsoncycles.co.uk
Follow his journey on https://www.facebook.com/oneparent.onebike

You can sponsor Martin on his JustGiving page

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/OneParentOneBike

Good luck Martin!!

Monday, 4 July 2016

Tandem Skydive - Done :-)

Skydive in aid of Reunite International Child Abduction Centre and in memory of my mother Doreen Dalton who always wanted to do this but sadly passed away in November 2015.

The jump was AMAZING!

Thank you to all who made a donation to Reunite and have shared my links to help to raise awareness of parental child abduction and parental alienation

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/reunite-skydive










You can still donate on the link https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/reunite-skydive
This link also shows the amount raised to date.

I had a video made on the day


To my daughter.. I love you so much.. Always have.. Always will... One Day Closer !!!! xxxx


Now I'm thinking about what to do for my next challenge :-) xx

Tuesday, 7 June 2016

Tandem Skydive on July 1st, 2016

It's not long now before my Skydive (July 1st).



I would really appreciate your support for Reunite International Child Abduction Centre. No matter how small, it would really mean a lot.

Reunite International Child Abduction Centre is the leading UK charity specialising in advice, assistance, mediation and research in relation to international parental child abduction and the movement of children across international borders.

One of reunite’s main services is the provision of their advice line which accepts calls from parents and families from all over the world and also offers an emergency service outside of office hours
I, personally, will also be doing this in memory of my mother Doreen Dalton who always wanted to do a parachute jump (as if 3 bungee jumps and a firewalk wasn't enough.. which she did over the last 15 years of her life).






Sadly, she passed away in November 2015 before she could be reunited with her granddaughter who she loved wholeheartedly.



You can make a donation via my page: http://www.justgiving.com/reunite-skydive. It's easy, fast and totally secure.

JustGiving sends your donation straight to Reunite and, if you're a UK taxpayer, automatically reclaims Gift Aid on Reunite's behalf, making your donation go further. What's more, JustGiving will never spam or sell your details.

I hope you'll join me in supporting Reunite (UK Reg Charity Ref 1075729)

Thank you Gemma Quinn for your article in Euro Weekly

Monday, 6 June 2016

Costa Blanca Tranquillity Lodge Gentleman's Evening

We would like to take this opportunity to thank the Costa Blanca Tranquility Lodge for their support this year. It really means so much to the charity that they have selected Reunite International Child Abduction Centre as their nominated charity for 2016.

The Gentleman's evening was held at the beautiful Clock House (La Casa del Reloj) in San Pedro del Pinatar and it was wonderful to see Samantha Chapman and Joanne Orton from Reunite flying over from UK to be at the event.

Thank you so much to Jemmy, Linda and all at the Lodge as well as the staff at Clock House and JJ (entertainment) for making it such a lovely event.