#aleyahmonkdalton (aka alienation/stagename #aaliyahmonk) #onedaycloser #prouddad
Saturday, 10 November 2018
Saturday, 20 October 2018
I have spoken with many parents and families that are or have been in a similar position to ourselves.
Whilst doing this, I have continually fought my own battles in attempting to reunite with my own daughter and pleading for the malicious tactics to stop.
The lies and deception used as a mechanism to remove our child from her home and paternal family was so very very wrong.
I have, several times each year, spoken with and visited school to keep updated on progress in school and in her performing activities despite the brick walls that keep being built around me.
Several times, we have watched her perform in dance and musicals but remained as anonymous faces in the crowd.
I have pleaded for mediation over and over again which was continually refused despite our efforts to state that the maternal family's past alienating behaviour would be left in the past if we can ensure that our child can be allowed to be loved by both parents and families without the nasty false allegations that were used to take her and keep us apart.
I tried to keep my faith and belief that the system would eventually reunite us and maybe, just maybe, our child would no longer be used as a weapon and her best interests would be placed as priority.
Sadly, we are almost 10 years later on and there seems to be no change in the maternal family's position.
Tragically also, our daughter did not get the opportunity to be reunited with her paternal grandmother who absolutely and unconditionally adored her.
Do they not feel any remorse at all? This really has to end..
One day I am sure that they know that the truth will be told. Maybe that is what they are scared of? The lies and deception can maybe one day be forgiven but they need to understand that this would take work.
There is a reason why previous close friends of the maternal family turned their back on them. It is because the tactics used were abusive and so very wrong.
It's not too late to change but I realise that there will be a lot of repair work needed to heal the damage already caused.
I will ask again... Contact me and make a start on putting this repair work into action.. The longer it goes on, the harder it will be.
Our daughter is of an age now where she can understand and I hope she will see that her paternal family has never stopped loving her and thinking about her and never will stop... Maybe she will reach out? Our door will always be open.
I can be contacted on my email firstname.lastname@example.org or my mobile phone/whatsapp 0034 622 925 754..
One more day closer xxx
Friday, 12 October 2018
Below is a link to an interesting article / blog
I'm quite aligned to Karens thoughts on parental alienation.
Parental child abduction is often an action triggered by parental alienation behaviour (not always). In those cases, impartiality is part of the problem; Not the solution in my opinion.
Unfortunately, some organisations although doing some very good work in some areas are sadly financially driven to state impatiality. This I feel is a problem.
There needs to be a line between what is right and what is wrong in order to effectively prompt change.
Wednesday, 26 September 2018
The Future... "One thing you should be aware of is that at some point, your children will start to ask questions and possibly realise how you have lied and deceived them too....
There will come a point where you cannot control them anymore and this might result in YOU losing them in their adult lives.
This doesn’t seem to matter to you too much right now as you have won your war against the other parent and family by preventing your child from having a loving and healthy relationship with the person you seem to hate more than you love your child"... But you have to realise that this is not only emotional abuse of your childs other side of the family; it is emotional abuse of the child you claim to love!!
There is still opportunity to change this..
Now is the time to put your children first...
Stop parental child abduction
Stop parental alienation
Stop hostile "parenting"
One Day Closer x
Tuesday, 11 September 2018
I thought this would have been the end of matters but how wrong could I have been?...
The most devious and heinous tactics were used to remove her again a year later and I have not been allowed to see her since... Nor "should" I even talk about details of the case or even her name on this media due to the deception and misuse of the UK family courts..
I was gagged from speaking about the case on any media. I tried to do everything that was asked of me but nothing was changing.. I finally lost my faith in the family court system being a resolution..
Not a day goes by without me thinking of my little girl.. I love her with ALL of my heart!! I will continue to do everything I can to make sure she is reunited with her Dad and paternal family.
Another reason I post so much on the subject is that during the time I have been trying to reunite with my own child, I have spoken to MANY other parents and families that have been affected by parental child abduction and / or parental alienation. I was shocked to see that the situation we find ourselves in is by far an isolated case.
This HAS to be seen as a major problem in the family courts and between jurisdictions
MANY children are abducted and/or alienated from good parents every single day.
These children are used as weapons, pawns and possessions by an abducting/alienating parent that the child is supposed to be able to trust...
Instead they are subjecting the child that they claim to love to a most horrible emotional abuse.. Not to mention the abuse of the left behind family..
Sadly, quite often the authorities and the courts seem to facilitate this behaviour by allowing themselves to be lied to, deceived and manipulated... (why isnt perjury deterred in the family courts?)
If you are blessed enough to have your children with you, imagine what it would be like if you woke in the morning to find that they are no longer there... Imagine not knowing where they have been taken to or if you will ever see them again.
Imagine trying to plead for help from the authorities and they do nothing or very little to help...
Imagine going from day to day trying to be reunited with your child but nothing seems to progress... In fact, the longer it takes, the less concern people seem to show.. All is considered OK...
It is not OK... It never will be OK.. These are emotional abuses that seem to be tolerated..
I hope some of my posts help to raise awareness of some of the issues.. I also hope that you do read some of them and dont get too frustrated with me for posting about the issues so much... If you do, feel free to mute or remove me. I wont take offense... One day closer xxx
Sunday, 9 September 2018
September 10th - World Suicide Prevention Day.... What can you do?
Connect - ask how someone is
If you think someone might be feeling unwell, depressed; don’t be afraid to ask how they are.
Anyone can experience a mental health problem, so being able to talk about it is important to us all. And you don’t need to be an expert on mental health. Often, small everyday actions can make the biggest difference.
They might want to talk about it, or they might not. But just letting them know they don’t have to avoid the issue with you is important. Just spending time with the person lets them know you care and can help you understand what they’re going through.
Thoughts today with all who are or who have experienced suicidal thoughts and families that have been affected..
A message for Gautam's daughter who some of my contacts related to parental child abduction / parental alienation may know: your Dad fought to be in your life until his very last breath.. He is not forgotten and NEVER will be.. I hope you will someday know of the love and dedication he had for you.. You were always his angel ... Xx #worldsuicidepreventionday #suicide #talk #connect
Monday, 3 September 2018
I dont know if anybody saw news on the UK show Big Brother the other day but there was an incident on the show where a "celebrity" made a serious allegation against another contestant which resulted in him having a formal warning..
I think we could all agree that the allegation was at the very least, grossly exaggerated..
This was placed in the spotlight on national television. Do you not think that this incident could show what often occurs in the family courts as a tool to "win" a case?
It made me sick to my stomach not only the allegation but how the show dealt with it.. A formal warning?? Really??
People who are REALLY victims of domestic violence or violence against women should be just as outraged about this.. It was disgusting...
It seems that now her career is in tatters, she makes a public apology. Sorry for what she did or sorry for the impact it has had on her??? Hmmm.
Interestingly, womens aid are still defending her actions to a point..
Monday, 27 August 2018
The last one we had together was when she was 4!! As we do every year, we tried to still "celebrate" her birthday in her absence..
We put all gifts and cards in a memory chest for her in the hope that one day she will see them to know that I and her friends and family, have never.. and will never give up on her...
We once again had cake (obviously to Michelle's delight) and as we do each year, went to a number of places Aleyah loved to go when she was here... It helps to still celebrate these days but it is very emotional x
These pictures show Aleyah 9 years ago and us in the same places today..
Below is a slide show from our travels which I hope that Aleyah will see...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEYAH.. ALWAYS loving you... FOREVER your Dad.. One day closer xxxx
Wednesday, 22 August 2018
Thank you for the people who have sent messages... It means a lot when family and friends acknowledge these special days and also continuing to send these messages to me directly (her dad) despite her still being absent... at the moment...
I will keep every last message until she has the opportunity to read them herself...
I will be celebrating her birthday with Michelle, with a cake will take more photos to put in her box that I have been keeping for her...
We will be once again going to a number of places she used to love going including Rio safari where we will make another braid on her favourite pony McCloud which we have done each birthday since she was taken. (sounds silly I know...).. That's because she did a braid when she was here..
I miss her so much... Not a day goes by without her in my mind and in my heart... We are one more day closer x
#aleyahmonkdalton (aka stage/alienation name #aaliyahmonk) #onedaycloser
Tuesday, 21 August 2018
#onedaycloser #aleyahmonkdalton aka alienation/stage name #aaliyahmonk #prouddad
When reading many articles/posts, it seems like they are all working from the same handbook of emotional abuse...
In these cases why don't the courts and childcare "professionals" identify these patterns? If they do, why do they ignore them?
Why do they not hold accountable parents that resort to false allegations and perjury?
Why is the child not automatically provided emotional help in family law cases? They are the most important people and are often having to cope with one or both "parents" using them as weapons to win their family court case.
The CHILD can only ever win if the parents can be amicable so why is mediation / shared parenting not the model that the courts encourage as priority? (could this be for financial reasons)?
Monday, 6 August 2018
3 years since we started Walk Cross Borders. 44 marathons in 44 days to raise awareness of parental child abduction, parental alienation and the Reunite charity and to show MY OWN daughter a small part of what I would do for her..
This started at Orihuela Court in Spain and ended at RCJ London.. Quite a lot of awareness was raised during this event but sadly, In this last few years, there has been little progress in reuniting with my daughter, mediation point blank refused and very tragically, my daughter has lost a loving grandmother perminently.
I will keep reaching out to plea to the maternal family for this bs to end and stop the disgraceful alienating tactics that continues to keep us apart.. 8 years stolen so far :(... One more day closer..
#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #walkacrossborders
Thursday, 2 August 2018
How are you today? I hope all is well and you are blessed to be able to treasure some moments of your day for quality time with your children...Please treasure every single second.
I'm sure some days are testing. That's what being a parent is all about but I am sure that many families that have been affected by parental child abduction and/or alienation would love to be in your position because many have not been able to even communicate with their child for months... or like myself, sometimes years and sadly this is mostly due to the selfishness of the other "parent" as well as the family court systems that appear to facilitate this abuse.
"How can the other parent do this?"
"It is so wrong for this to happen. What can we do to help?"
Fantastic!.. There is an instant rallying together to try to resolve the situation because obviously, the authorities won't allow this to happen for long will they?..... WRONG !!
There is no rush to resolve the situation with the authorities (that would reduce their pay cheques).
A parent tries to do everything they can to resolve the situation and often go directly to a lawyer and pay a retainer if they have the money or look to family and friends to help them.
They may find these lawyers with very little research into their background in family law or international cross border child issues as the urgency to resolve the situation does not allow time to do this research.
The parent does this as a gut reaction as they believe that the system is BOUND to protect them and their children.. . After all... to steal a child is obviously a crime.. WRONG AGAIN !! Well... it is a crime but is it really enforced as being one???
Even with the protection of the Hague Convention and Brussels II revised which is supposed to protect from this occurring. So many stalling and devious tactics are used by "legal experts" which are abusive, cruel and immoral such as trying to portray the affected parent as unfit with false allegations.
The system as it stands is set up for these tactics to be used as there is little or no deterrent nor accountability for using them.
In fact, they are sometimes rewarded with legal aid which is part of the reason that this "method" is used.
Sadly, there is no thought whatsoever by an abducting/alienating "parent" or their legal advisors into the possible long term emotional affects on the family and the children..
The affected parent continues to do everything they can to resolve the situation.. Paying additional expenses for lawyers and barristers and well as travelling back and forth to the country they have been abducted or removed to.
They often get themselves in so much financial trouble as a result of this that they might never recover from..
As the situation goes on and on with no or limited resolution, the concern of friends and family often diminishes. Instead of the initial uproar, they sometimes hear comments like..
"It will all work out someday when they are older"
"He / she seems to be happy"
"All must be ok because they are with the other parent"
"You need to continue with your life because they will come back someday"
"They will work out the truth someday"
Etc.. Etc.. Etc...
If you are affected, I am sure you can add much more to this list as you are wiping away your tears on a daily basis because, to you, the first person you think of a the start of the day is your absent child and continues throughout each and every day..
You learn to become stronger on the outside but it never becomes easier and your love for your child never lessens.
The fact that the child was effectively stolen and retained from their other parent and family no longer seems a concern to most.. and the longer this goes on, the less concern there seems to be.
These parents are so frustrated about this because the longer this goes on actually shows even more how wrong this situation is.
People sometimes no longer to even relate you to being a parent...
Remember the Xmas cards etc where your child is no longer mentioned - EVEN from close friends and family? Hurts doesn't it??
The abducting / alienating parent has been allowed to erase you and your family from their lives aided and abetted by the system/authorities that you put your trust in.
So at this point, what does a parent do? Give up? Pretend their child never even existed, box the emotions away? It seems that this is what is expected..
Some find the strength to carry on doing everything they can to be reunited with their child and look at different ways of achieving this... but the more time goes on, the less help they seem to get ... even from organisation that specialise in these issues.
A parent becomes so frustrated and sometimes feel that talking about what they can be doing to reunite with their child becomes a taboo subject.. After all, they've had the time to "get over it"
People need to understand that they will NEVER "Get over it"... They just learn to be stronger and cope as best they can with the situation.
If you have a family member of a close friend in a similar position, please give them some thought from time to time. They might go about their lives wearing a plastic smile but inside they hurt just as much, if not more, today than they did when this whole nightmare started.
One Day Closer all xxxx
Tuesday, 31 July 2018
If your children "are your world" then why do you HATE half of who they are so much that you feel the need to alienate them from the other parent and family?
#parentalalienation #parentalchildabduction #onedaycloser #stoptheabuse
Friday, 27 July 2018
Thursday, 26 July 2018
As mentioned in earlier posts, the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual walk is taking place at Stave Hill Ecology Park, London on Saturday 15th September
It would be great if we can get more people there.. Parents.. family members.. Friends/supporters.
The more people that go, the more awareness we can show to people that are not necessarily affected by parental child abduction / retention / parental alienation as well as highlighting to MPs, authorities, media, social media etc.
It's an opportunity for parents to speak to others in a similar position to realise that they are not alone and give each other much needed support. It's also a good opportunity to speak to people from Reunite.
It only takes place once per year so I really hope that people will do what they can to give their support
We have booked our flights from Spain to be there so look forward to seeing you if you can make it..
Let Reunite know if you want to be there with us : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or email@example.com
Remember.. This walk is primarily about getting parents, families together who have been affected by parental child abduction and friends/family/supporters. It is only 5km in a very pleasant setting..
Stave Hill Ecological Park
Timber Pond Rd, London SE16 6AX, UK
Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus but I have set up a new Justgiving page to try to raise monies to update their IT to better support affected families though their advice line
Sunday, 22 July 2018
Thursday, 19 July 2018
Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual walk will take place this year on Saturday 15th September at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London.
This walk is primarily about getting parents, families and supporters together who have been affected by parental child abduction.
Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus. However, if you do wish to sponsor us to help Reunite support parents and families affected by parental child abduction, you can do so on my Justgiving page
If you would like to participate, please contact reunite on : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or firstname.lastname@example.org and let them know you would like to support them so they can estimate numbers. Thanks guys xx
Sunday, 24 June 2018
I hope they are given help with this process and not simply left to it as it will be a difficult process I am sure.
Another positive is that the other parent admitted using false allegations as they were advised to by lawyers..
Maybe the family courts need to open their eyes and see that this is a tactic to achieve an objective and actually provide some form of deterrent and accountability for legal professionals as well as alienating parents?? ..
Until they do, it will continue to be a tool used by alienating parents and malicious legal teams without any thought for the possible long term damage on the children xx
Friday, 22 June 2018
As you might know, Reunite International Child Abduction Centre are a registered charity who support parents and families worldwide who have been affected by parental child abduction so for obvious reasons, it is a charity close to my heart.
However, it is a small charity with a limited budget so I thought that maybe there could be something we could do to help them reach the target of £20,000 that they have been quoted..
With that in mind, I set up a justgiving "Team" page where we can add any events and fundraising we do as we go along...
If you would like to donate to this fund or organise an event etc to help them reach this target, click on the link.
If you are wanting to organise your own event for this fund, why not set up a JustGiving page and add your page to this team by clicking on the "Join the Team" link at the bottom of the team page.
Wednesday, 21 March 2018
I will plea again ... Please stop the bs..
Surely this must be stressful for everybody and really needs to stop?.. Please just allow our child to be loved and cared for by both parents..
The tactics that were used were so bad and have stolen so many years from our lives..
It has stolen our child's grandmother perminently which is unbelievably tragic..
I am trying to put my thoughts about this to one side and think of OUR child.. She deserves to be allowed to be loved and cared for by BOTH of her parents..
Communicate for the sake of our child.. She will thank you for that in the future whatever she is being taught to believe now..
ArticlesCan you forgive.....
Dear Alienating Parent
Patterns of Behaviour
Thoughts of a Parent...
Ironic view of Family Court...