This
article was written as an ironic view of how the current family court
system can be used to facilitate the abduction and retention of children
across international borders. Some of the points mentioned also relate
to issues in the domestic family court system.
My
reasoning is to highlight the tactics often used in cross border /
domestic proceedings in the hope that the various authorities (and/or
media) will provide an investigation into these issues which I would
like to prompt greater deterrent and accountability.
It was lovely to see all of you wonderful parents and families at the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre walk last weekend at Stave Hill Ecology Park.
Thank you to the staff at the park and the team at Reunite for hosting the event which on a personal note, I find to be very helpful and also enjoyable.
The main object of the event was to bring families and supporters together as the issues many parents and families face are very difficult to understand unless you or a family member have been affected.
The assumption of the public is that parental child abduction and alienation is simply a domestic issue but the possible affects lay much deeper than this psychologically and sometimes physically.
These issues affect not only the absent parent. It also affects the families and the child. The tactics that are sometimes used to alienate a child can also result in deep and lasting issues for the child that the alienating parent claims to love.
I appreciate the work that Reunite do in helping to raise awareness of parental child abduction throughout the world and also the emotional support they give through their adviceline. It is very important to support organisations like this.
If you would like to donate to the charity, any amounts would be appreciated to help to keep their adviceline alive and to assist in the very important work that they do.
Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your
details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send
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raise more, whilst saving time and cutting costs for the charity.
There are such obvious and common patterns in behaviour and "tactics"
that are evident in many cases of parental child abduction and
alienation.
When reading many articles/posts, it seems like they are all
working from the same handbook of emotional abuse... In these cases why
don't the courts and childcare "professionals" identify these patterns?
If they do, why do they ignore them?
Why do they not hold accountable
parents that resort to false allegations and perjury?
Why is the child
not automatically provided emotional help in family law cases? They are
the most important people and can only ever be winners if the parents
can be amicable so why is mediation and shared parenting not the model that the courts
encourage as priority? Could this be for financial reasons?
In mediation, if a parent shows that they are not prepared to work with the other parent in the best interest of the child, shouldn't sanctions be applied? I know there is an arguement that an alienating parent may go through the motions for the benefit of the court rather than the
child... but when breaches of memorandums of understanding are
made, shouldn't the parent breaching those agreements be sanctioned in some way?
Sadly, parents
can go through the court process and be let down in very similar ways.. We
know the system is broken but yet we are still forced to use work with it (until
we are forced to decide that it will get us nowhere in its current form and/or
we just can't afford to progress matters through the court without
draining us completely which is also draining our children's financial
security)..
Personally, I will continue to raise awareness in any way I can but
unless parents and families stand together and highlight these issues,
it will be difficult to apply enough pressure to prompt change..
Sadly,
people accept things the way they are or judge the non-custodial parent
with a thought of "no smoke without fire" without giving a second
thought to the lies, deception, perjury and failure of the courts which
brought things to this point.
Acceptance of spurious, malicious and cruel allegations and blatant perjury in the courts that we put our trust in to protect us and our children is abusive in itself . It can be a direct CAUSE of psychological issues due to emotional trauma and has even been linked to suicide, especially in men. Please please please, review your processes. It is assisting the destruction of many families by aiding and abetting the alienation of children with half of their family as well as the emotional health of parents who will do whatever they can to be in the lives of their children. - One Day Closer
At the beginning of the month, it was announced that the government has decided to opt in to the
recast of the EU legislation known as the Brussels IIa regulation. The
regulation outlines procedures to be used in cross-border family issues
within the EU, such as the recognition of existing court orders and the
abduction of children between EU states, and is currently being used by
UK courts.
Reunite took part in the government’s consultation on
the recast of Brussels IIa, and whether the UK should opt in to further
discussions. They stated that the government shares their view that it
is important for the UK to be part of the recast, even with Brexit on
the horizon.
Reunite feel the impact of the proposed changes on families
within the EU, including the families or British nationals living in
other EU states, could be significant.
Reunite made a submission to the Justice Committee’s consultation on ‘the implications of Brexit for the justice system’ shortly following the announcement.
The EU’s Brussels IIa regulation is currently integrated into UK national law. Brussels IIa allows for orders in relation to parental
responsibility to be recognised from one EU Member State to another, and
adds extra obligations on Member States for the benefit of children in
inter-EU 1980 Hague abduction cases.
As a
result, leaving the EU and potentially losing this key piece of
legislation is going to have an impact on UK law and international
family cases, and this needs to be taken into consideration by Parliament
whatever happens next.
Reunite hopes that their submission will be beneficial to the consultation and
ultimately help to inform Parliament to make the best decisions for
families and abducted children.
On the 17th November, Reunite organised a parents get together in London. This was a great opportunity to have a chat and share experiences with
other parents and a few members of the reunite team over a drink and
some nibbles.
They organise these meetings every second month. If you would like to attend one of the future meetings, send an email to Mitta at reunite@dircon.co.uk who will send you further details.
Sadly, several new cases were reported during the month of November involving UK, Spain, Poland and Jamaica. Reunite aim provide ongoing advice and support to the parents who speak with them and work with them towards what will hopefully be a positive outcome
for their children.
If you are affected by Parental Child Abduction and need advice, please call the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre advice line - 0044 (0)116 2556 234.
Later in the month, Reunite hosted a seminar with the British Embassy in Seoul on the 1980 Hague
Convention, with the aim of informing local lawyers about child
abduction and how the 1980 Hague Convention works.
There were a number of speakers, who included the Hague Permanent Bureau,
Judge Kim and Professor Suk from Korea, the Korean Central Authority,
Justice Bennett from Australia, John Mellor of CAFCASS, Anne-Marie
Hutchinson and our Reunite's Alison Shalaby.
Reunite hope that this seminar has helped to increase knowledge and
confidence amongst professionals, in an effort to secure the best
possible outcomes for the children in 1980 Hague cases.
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Also, late in November, Reunite's Sam Chapman attended the Embassy Consular Conference, talking about the work of reunite with
FCO's Consular Director, Julia Longbottom, and London's consular
community.
Here in Spain, we would like to offer our huge appreciation to the Costa Blanca Tranquillity Lodge for their continued support for the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre Charity. Through their efforts, they have raised approximately £1,500 that will be used towards updating the centre offices.
We would also like to give our best wishes and support to Shani Ormiston, who has supported the charity for a number of years through events and cd sales.
Her latest release "You Gotta Let It Go" can be seen on YouTube
The EU’s Brussels IIa regulation is currently
integrated into UK law. Brussels IIa allows for orders in
relation to parental responsibility to be recognised from one EU Member
State to another, and adds extra obligations on Member States for the
benefit of children in inter-EU 1980 Hague abduction cases.
As
a result, leaving the EU and potentially losing this key piece of
legislation is going to have an impact on UK law and international
family cases, and this needs to be taken into consideration by Parliament
whatever happens next.
Reunite hopes their submission will be beneficial to the consultation and
ultimately helps to inform Parliament to make the best decisions for
families and abducted children.
Reunite's CEO, Alison, was invited to attend the 2nd EuroAmerican Congress of
Family Law which was recently held in Uruguay. She met with Judges,
legal professionals, academics and organisations from a number of Latin
American countries, including Uruguay, Argentina, Chile and Brazil.
There was an opportunity to discuss challenges faced in cases of
parental child abduction and how reunite can work closer with key
stakeholders across Latin America to benefit families and children.
Also in October, Reunite exhibited at the Resolution Dispute Resolution Conference in Nottingham.
It was a great opportunity to speak with lawyers and other mediators
about how beneficial mediation can be in international cases involving
children, and to highlight the work of their advice line.
Earlier in October reunite attended a conference in Moscow examining the use
and enforcement of the 1980 and 1996 Hague Conventions in Russia.
The event was attended by experts from Russia and the UK, and examined
how child abduction cases are treated in both countries. Reunite's Development
and External Communications Liaison Officer Vicky spoke about the work
of reunite including their advice line, mediation and policy work.
The conference was a great opportunity to learn about different aspects
of the 1980 Hague system in Russia, and hopefully the information and
experience shared will be of use to parents in the future.
Sadly, these tactics are used over and over again without deterrent or accountability for doing so...
"Dear Alienating / abducting "parents"
You have proven your point that you can take "ownership" of our child
by abducting and manipulating the system to achieve your goal in
destroying the parental and family bond of the child and family that
loves the child wholeheartedly.
You have proven that you can make false allegations, lie and deceive
the courts and authorities in any way that you want to without any
deterrent or accountability for doing so.
You have proven that
you can portray a good parent to be an absolute monster and also coach
your child in an attempt to have them believe your lies.
You
have proven that you can use the system over and over again as long as
the child's other parent and family do everything they can to be part of
your child's life.
You have shown that you are prepared to emotionally harm your child and your child's family who love each other unconditionally
Does this make you proud? Does it give you a feeling of accomplishment
to not only abuse your child's family but also your child him/her self?
Do you realise that this can affect your child, that you claim to love
for the rest of their childhood lives and even into adulthood? Possibly
even for the rest of their lives? Is this setting a good example for
them being parents when they are older?
Do you realise also
that when those children do start looking for answers, that the
alienation that you are inflicting right now could cause your child to
resent you.. And want to alienate you completely from their adult lives?
It is not too late to change your ways. Stop your abuse now.. Please.. For the sake of your child/children.
Anon (bound by gagging orders to "protect" the child from the truth)
A year ago today, I completed a 44 day walk (approx 1750km) between Orihuela, Spain and London.
My objectives were to:
Raise awareness of the issues surrounding parental child abduction and the impact on families and children
Raise awareness of parental alienation abuse and the impact on families and children
Raise awareness of the failures in family court and with
authorities that sometimes appear to facilitate abduction, alienation
and false allegations which can be used as a heinous alienation tactic.
Help the Reunite International UK charity who NEED the additional
resources to effectively support families who are involved in
international children's cases.. Over 17,000 calls were managed by their
advice line in 2014. For such a small charity, this is an enormous task.
To show what affected parents are prepared to do to show their love for their children
We had such wonderful support from so many people on this journey from which we are so grateful. In particular, Michelle on the left of this photo who helped me advertise, walked a number of stages with me, drove the support car, wrote many posts on social media, hung the laundry wherever she could find a space (often at the side of the road) and kept me and people walking with me fed.. I really cannot thank her and others enough.
We also met some amazing people en route that provided an experience
that we will never forget...
There were also some very testing moments
too but we took those in our stride (excuse the pun)
I think we achieved most of what we wanted to achieve on the journey. In particular, raising awareness for which the number of hits on my Walk Across Borders blog was amazing.
I was also pleased
that my mother was able to see us complete this before she sadly passed
away in November...
She was so proud and fully supported the reasons why
we decided to do this.. Tragically, she never had the opportunity to
reunite with her granddaughter who she loved wholeheartedly until her
last breath... It still does not seem real that she is no longer with
us.. She was my rock... For such a small lady, she had so much courage
and strength.. She is missed so much :(..xxx
Hopefully, we can continue to do as much as we can to try to make a
difference... a positive difference... and just maybe enough awareness
will be raised to prompt some change...
Doing nothing achieves nothing...
Nobody can do everything; but everybody can do something...
