Love the picture of you

I saw that Martins Prints UK made a picture of you…

It is amazing!!!

So proud of you Aleyah

Always Loving you

Forever your Dad

One More Day Closer

xxxx

How to Abduct and Retain Your Child

This article was written as an ironic view of how the current family court system can be used to facilitate the abduction and retention of children across international borders. Some of the points mentioned also relate to issues in the domestic family court system.

My reasoning is to highlight the tactics often used in cross border / domestic proceedings in the hope that the various authorities (and/or media) will provide an investigation into these issues which I would like to prompt greater deterrent and accountability.

 
https://medium.com/@SMD_1daycloser/how-to-abduct-and-retain-your-child-a91139915fa0

Another Xmas Come and Gone

Another Xmas come and gone.. Once again, it hasn't been easy but thank you so much to all close to me who made a difficult time of year as enjoyable as was possible...

Thanks to Michelle Clark who opened our dinner table to two lovely elderly people who may otherwise have spent the day alone. This type of selfless act of kindness shows what a special person she is.. (they had a wicked sense of humour too)

I so hope my little girl Aleyah had a good day... I hope with all of my heart that 2018 will be our year to be reunited...

I pray that abducting/alienating parents are given a conscience and realise how wrong their behaviour is and put a stop to it for their children's sake!!

Thoughts with all good parents who are so wrongfully alienated and/or restricted from being with their children.

This madness won't go on forever.. Stay strong and don't be beaten.. whether it's tomorrow, in the near future or further in time, your children will need you so don't give up!

ALWAYS loving you... FOREVER your Daddy.. One more day closer xx

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2027246604219752&id=100008032963458

Christmas wishes

Wishing everybody a happy & wonderful Christmas.

For those who are parents who are not able to see their children through abduction/alienation, my heart goes out to you and empathise with the hurt that you will undoubtedly be feeling.

Also so much thought for those who are suffering the bereavement of their children through illness or accident. It must be such a very traumatic time and must hurt so much in particular on these key dates.

Please stay strong and try to enjoy the season as much as possible with the people around you that are important in your life.

If you have your children / grandchildren with you this year, treasure every single moment with them. They will never be this age again.. You are very blessed..xx

Thank you to everybody that have stayed the distance, inspired me and helped me to stay focused and positive when I have needed it most. Also to the crazy loons I call friends who keep me smiling...

I really can't put into words how much I appreciate all that have given so much love and support. I'm blessed to have some amazing people around me.

Wishing my own daughter Aleyah a wonderful Christmas and pray that we are reunited very soon

https://youtu.be/zLjvNLKTOWM

Always loving you... Forever your dad..  One Day Closer!! xx

Xmas–Celebration?

Well.. Its less that a week now before Christmas and it is plainly clear that once again, my daughter will not be spending any time or even any communication with her paternal family. This was expected but nevertheless, just as heart-breaking as ever.

I will continue with writing cards and buying small gifts so that she will be able to read them and see that I have never given up... and never will.. Unfortunately, she won't see this until we are reunited..

This is now 8 years!.. and not one day has gone by without her on my mind and in my heart.
I pray that the mother will change her behaviour in 2018 and realise that whatever tactics she tries to use… whatever lies she tells in an attempt to alienate our child, I will keep on doing everything I possibly can to be reunited and be involved in her life.

There are a number of people who really should hang their heads in shame and 2018 is the year where I believe the time is right to become more public in not only raising awareness of parental child abduction and parental alienation, but also my own personal experiences of this occurring and the people who have been party to facilitating this behaviour.

I have been patient for a very long time. I have been silenced from providing any details but have been obedient and respectful of the family courts in the UK despite the horrific mistakes that have been made and the deception that has been used to achieve the objective of removing our daughter´s paternal family from her life.

This year, I tried once again to communicate through lawyers with the mother but her position has not changed and completely refused any mediation. I realise that she might feel the need to keep up the lies to justify her previous actions but maybe… just maybe… she, and the maternal grandparents should start putting our daughter first and be open about what they have done and why they have done it? Sadly, due to their past behaviours, this is necessary even though it might be so difficult for our child to come to terms with the fact that she has been lied to and betrayed for so many years.

They need to understand that at some point, this will be known. Wouldn´t it be better for them to speak to her  about their reasons rather than her find out the truths later. She has already lost to bereavement, a grandmother who loved her wholeheartedly... Please DON´T continue to keep her father from her too.

One more day closer x

Happy Christmas

I would like to take this opportunity to wish all of my friends and family a wonderful Christmas and a very happy 2018

I pray that my own daughter Aleyah has an amazing Christmas too. She has had such an eventful year being cast as Summer in the West End Musical School of Rock under the name of Aaliyah Monk.
https://youtu.be/dRfLRS2-lzg
I was very proud and obviously very emotional when I saw the show a few times this year, all be it an anonymous face in the crowd. I could not stay away from such an important moment in her life and continue to keep pleading with her mother to end this madness and allow her to be reunited with her paternal family who love her wholeheartedly.
Hopefully 2018 will be the year that this happens. It WILL happen at some point but it would be so much better for her if this happens with her mother´s blessing sooner rather than later. She must realise that I will never ever give up.
One more day closer

2018 Costa Blanca Calendar - Torrevieja Outlook

Thank you Andy Ormiston for inviting us to the lovely tranquil setting of Aroca Seiquer & Asociados based in Rocajuna area for the presentation and launch of the Torrevieja Outlook 2018 Calendar which shows some of the wonderful tourist attractions in the Costa Blanca.

This is the calendar's 13th year of publishing which is done to help to support a number of very worthwhile charities.
 

A number of calendars were donated to us to help to support the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre charity and can be purchased from us for a very small fee of €5 (+ postage if applicable). All of which can be paid directly to our JustGiving page

 https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/onedaycloser-reunite

Before purchasing, let me know via IM or email your address so I can advise of any additional postage costs.

Reunite Walk 2017 - Stave Hill Ecology Park

Hi all

It was lovely to see all of you wonderful parents and families at the Reunite International Child Abduction Centre walk last weekend at Stave Hill Ecology Park.

Thank you to the staff at the park and the team at Reunite for hosting the event which on a personal note, I find to be very helpful and also enjoyable.

The main object of the event was to bring families and supporters together as the issues many parents and families face are very difficult to understand unless you or a family member have been affected.

More photographs can be found HERE

The assumption of the public is that parental child abduction and alienation is simply a domestic issue but the possible affects lay much deeper than this psychologically and sometimes physically.

Understanding Stages of Grief applied to Parents Affected by Parental Child Abduction

These issues affect not only the absent parent. It also affects the families and the child. The tactics that are sometimes used to alienate a child can also result in deep and lasting issues for the child that the alienating parent claims to love.

I appreciate the work that Reunite do in helping to raise awareness of parental child abduction throughout the world and also the emotional support they give through their adviceline. It is very important to support organisations like this. 

If you would like to donate to the charity, any amounts would be appreciated to help to keep their adviceline alive and to assist in the very important work that they do.

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/smd-reunite 

Donating through JustGiving is simple, fast and totally secure. Your details are safe with JustGiving – they’ll never sell them on or send unwanted emails. Once you donate, they’ll send your money directly to the charity and make sure Gift Aid is reclaimed on every eligible donation by a UK taxpayer. So it’s the most efficient way to donate - I raise more, whilst saving time and cutting costs for the charity. 

Thanks all xx 

Patterns of behaviour in the family court

There are such obvious and common patterns in behaviour and "tactics" that are evident in many cases of parental child abduction and alienation.

When reading many articles/posts, it seems like they are all working from the same handbook of emotional abuse... In these cases why don't the courts and childcare "professionals" identify these patterns? If they do, why do they ignore them?

Why do they not hold accountable parents that resort to false allegations and perjury?

Why is the child not automatically provided emotional help in family law cases? They are the most important people and can only ever be winners if the parents can be amicable so why is mediation and shared parenting not the model that the courts encourage as priority?  Could this be for financial reasons?

 In mediation, if a parent shows that they are not prepared to work with the other parent in the best interest of the child, shouldn't sanctions be applied?

I know there is an arguement that an alienating parent may go through the motions for the benefit of the court rather than the child... but when breaches of memorandums of understanding are made, shouldn't the parent breaching those agreements be sanctioned in some way?

Sadly, parents can go through the court process and be let down in very similar ways.. 
We know the system is broken but yet we are still forced to use work with it (until we are forced to decide that it will get us nowhere in its current form and/or we just can't afford to progress matters through the court without draining us completely which is also draining our children's financial security).. 

Personally, I will continue to raise awareness in any way I can but unless parents and families stand together and highlight these issues, it will be difficult to apply enough pressure to prompt change.. 

Sadly, people accept things the way they are or judge the non-custodial parent with a thought of "no smoke without fire" without giving a second thought to the lies, deception, perjury and failure of the courts which brought things to this point.

Acceptance of spurious, malicious and cruel allegations and blatant perjury in the courts that we put our trust in to protect us and our children is abusive in itself . It can be a direct CAUSE of psychological issues due to emotional trauma and has even been linked to suicide, especially in men.

Please please please, review your processes. It is assisting the destruction of many families by aiding and abetting the alienation of children with half of their family as well as the emotional health of parents who will do whatever they can to be in the lives of their children.

- One Day Closer

Reunite International Annual Walk - London 23rd September

Our flights are booked for Reunite International Child Abduction Centre annual Walk at Stave Hill Ecology Park in London on Saturday 23rd September.

This walk is all about getting parents, families and supporters together. Any sponsorship / monies raised is a bonus. However, if you do wish to sponsor me to help them support parents and families affected by parental child abduction, you can do so on my Justgiving page  

https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/smd-reunite

If you would like to join us there, please contact reunite on : +44 (0)116 2555 345 or reunite@dircon.co.uk and let them know you would like to support them so they can estimate numbers. Thanks guys xx

Costa Blanca Lodge of Tranquility - Gentlemans Evening

On Saturday 10th June, we were very kindly invited as guests to a Gentleman's Evening with the Ladies (and their gentlemen) of the Costa Blanca Lodge of Tranquility No 52 at the beautiful Hotel Montepiedra.

The ladies of the lodge have supported Reunite International Child Abduction Centre in 2016 and 2017. Their kindness, hard work and generosity is greatly appreciated by all at Reunite as well as the many parents who contact the charity for help, support and advice.

The mediation service is a vital part of reunite and as such, they decided to use the generous donations in 2016 to make improvements to their two mediation rooms so they can provide parents with a comfortable, tranquil space when attending meetings and mediation.

The evening was very enjoyable and had the most amazing menu and surroundings. I would highly recommend this hotel for all who wish to stay here or organise an event in the future.

 

 

  

 

Sadly, representitives from Reunite could not attend the event this year, however, I was honoured to be able to give a speech about the charity and the work that they do on their behalf

 Thank you all for your continued support and friendship

Father's Day Wishes

Happy Fathers Day this weekend..If you are blessed to be able to spend it with your children, treasure every single second.. xx

It really is so difficult and the emotions heighten even more on key dates... Please don't forget that parents who cannot see their children due to abduction and /or alienation ARE still daddies or mummies on these days. The difference being that it cannot be acknowledged by the children that they love with all of their hearts... Thoughts with all affected parents, grandparents, families AND of course, their children.... One day closer x

Costa Blanca Lodge of Tranquillity

Thanks to the fundraising efforts of the ladies of the Costa Blanca Lodge of Tranquillity, Reunite International Child Abduction Centre have now been able to give their mediation rooms some much needed attention.

These two rooms are used by parents when they come to mediate with them, so it is very important that they are comfortable, welcoming spaces that help parents to feel at ease.


They have made do with the rooms as they were for the last few years, but the money raised by the ladies gave us the resources to transform the rooms into genuinely pleasant places to be (as you can see from the photographs). 

In fact one parent who mediated with them recently said they were so comfortable they could happily have fallen asleep there!

So thank you again to the Costa Blanca Lodge of Tranquillity and the Honourable Fraternity of Ancient Freemasons for your much appreciated support.

This weekend, Michelle and I have the priviledge of being invited to their annual gentleman's evening here in Spain. Details to follow

 

Questions on Parental Child Abduction

1. My child has been taken abroad without my permission. What shall I do?

Contact the relevant central authority (in UK, ICACU, in Spain - Ministerio de Justicia), and Reunite International Child Abduction Centre for advice (www.reunite.org)

 

2. What documents are going to be required to support any court action?

Copies of the child’s birth certificate, your marriage certificate (if relevant), divorce order (again, if relevant) and any existing court orders relating to your child.

 

3.  What if I know my child has been taken abroad, but I don’t know where? 

This may involve Interpol, tipstaff officers and/or private detectives. If necessary, seek court orders to require banks, schools, telecoms companies, etc. to reveal the location of the abducting parent. 

 

4. Once you know the child’s location, what then? 

Court proceedings may then take place in the country where the child has been abducted to. They may be an order made to make the child "ward or court" and an order made to stop the child leaving the jurisdiction. The child's passport will also most likely be ceased.

There are guidelines over the amount of time a return order or decision should take (If signatories of Hague Convention / Brussels 2) . From experience, I can advise that this may not be adhered to and you could be facing a long, emotional, expensive legal battle. My advice would be IF AT ALL POSSIBLE, try to resolve matters amicably. Possibly with the help of mediation and counselling (ask Reunite about this). You are both parents EQUALLY. Your children are not possessions !

 

5. What happens if court solution is required (Hague)? 

Firstly, do your homework on who should be representing you. There are specialist lawyers in this area of law and can be very expensive. There are also self proclaimed advocates / heroes / warriors who will take prey on parents in such a vulnerable position. Take extreme care. They cannot provide the easy solution that they might claim to make and can cause more harm than good.

Ask if you will be entitled to legal aid assistance. One of the difficult decisions to make is who to instruct for representation. Reunite unfortunately cannot recommend specific legal professionals.

The abducting parent will be required by the court to appear before it to confirm whether s/he is willing to return the child. If not, the court will then set a date on which the return petition will be heard (which will include hearing evidence from the abducting parent as well as the parent left behind). 

 

6. Will my child’s opinion be sought? 

Provided the child is of any age that her views should be taken into account, this may be a requirement. The court may order social services / CAFCASS to interview the child (with interpreters if necessary) and – although this would not happen in all countries – the judge may also want to see and speak to the child. This is NOT a reason to coach and manipulate your child. Parental alienation IS an abuse. Your child should NEVER be subjected to this.

 

7. How long will it take for the court to give its decision? 

Every case is different, but some countries do not adhere to the "strict" time limits that international law dictates. Some countries are VERY poor at enforcing the international rules that govern parental child abduction. 

 

8.  What if the court rules my child should be returned? 

If the child is not then voluntarily handed back to you, a request may be needed for the police to remove the child from the abducting parent and deliver him/her to you. Even if the abducting parent appeals the return order.

------------------------
The contents of this blog post are the thoughts of the writer

 

Dear Alienating Parent

Sadly, these tactics are used over and over again without deterrent or accountability for doing so...

Dear Alienating / abducting "parents"

You have proven your point that you can take "ownership" of your child by abducting and manipulating the system to achieve your goal in destroying the parental and family bond of the child and family that loves the child wholeheartedly.

You have proven that you can make false allegations, lie and deceive the courts and authorities in any way that you want to without any deterrent or accountability for doing so.

You have proven that you can portray a good parent to be an absolute monster and also coach your child in an attempt to have them believe your lies.

You have proven that you can use the system over and over again as long as the child's other parent and family do everything they can to be part of your child's life.

You have shown that you are prepared to emotionally harm your child and your child's family who love each other unconditionally.

Does this make you proud? Does it give you a feeling of accomplishment to not only abuse your child's family but also your child him/her self?

Do you realise that this can affect your child, that you claim to love for the rest of their childhood lives and even into adulthood? Possibly even for the rest of their lives?

Is this setting a good example for them being parents when they are older?

Do you realise also that when those children do start looking for answers, that the alienation that you are inflicting right now could cause your child to resent you.. and want to alienate you completely from their adult lives?

It is not too late to change your ways. Stop your abuse now.. Please.. For the sake of your child/children.

Anon (bound by gagging orders to "protect" the child from the truth)

Gautam Gulati - RIP

It deepenly saddens me to report the tragic death of a loving father Gautam Gulati.

Gautam tried to do everything he could to be reunited with his daughter Zahra after she was parentally abducted from India by her mother and refused any access with his child.

The impact of this abduction was extreme on the whole family. Only a few months ago, Gautam had to cope with the tragic loss of his mother who he was very close to. This hit Gautam very hard.

Although Gautam was forced into the position of fighting through the courts in both jurisdictions, which was extremely stressful, he still took the time to try to support other parents who are so cruelly separated from their children. He was a very kind and special man who will be sadly missed.

I spoke to Gautam last Monday and he was so much more confident and positive that the appeals process was finally working in his favour to allow him to be reunited with his child. You can imagine how shocked and saddened I was to hear this news.

He, like many other parents who are affected by parental child abduction and parental alienation, was often frustrated, disillusioned in the system that he tried to put his trust in, and emotionally broken due to the help he pleaded for being ignored or dismissed. It hurt him terribly.

As yet, the cause of his death has not been confirmed.

I pray that one day, Zahra will know how much he loved her and fought for her. She has suffered a very tragic and perminent loss.

RIP Gautam x

Karen Woodall Blog

The lady seems to know and understand the issues so well. I have read many posts by her and I respect and agree with almost all. Keep up the excellent work Karen. One Day Closer xx

......"Parental alienation is NOT about conflict between two parents even though it may look like that from the outside to the naive or unaware professional, it is about the actions of one parent, often an unwell parent, who is causing the child to reject the other parent, which causes the rejected parent to feel upset, hurt, unheard and often angry that help is not available.

Parental alienation is NOT about parents acting badly it is about one parent acting badly and the other being drawn into a desperate struggle to save their relationship with their child.

Parental alienation IS child abuse and like all child abuse it is harmful to the child not to intervene AND stop it AND punish the perpetrator especially if that person will not stop it and cannot show insight into what they have done......"

https://karenwoodall.wordpress.com/2017/02/14/why-parental-alienation-is-child-abuse-and-why-punishing-such-abuse-can-never-rebound-on-a-child/

..

Career Opportunity

Rewarding career opportunity advertised by Reunite International Child Abduction Centre.

Reunite International Child Abduction Centre is looking for an office administrator to assist with the smooth running of our city centre office.

The main focus of the role is too :
· Administer and manage the reunite mediation service
· Provide reception duties including staffing the administration line, welcoming visitors and managing emails
· Assist with fundraising events / seminars and general office administration

The successful candidate must be an excellent communicator with strong interpersonal and administrative skills, have plenty of common sense and be able to work as part of a small team.

Hours 9:30 am – 5:30 pm – Salary £18,200 per annum

Please send CV and covering letter to the postal address below..

Reunite International
Child Abduction Centre
PO Box 7124
Leicester
LE1 7XX
United Kingdom
Registered Charity No. 1075729

Closing date 31 st January 2017.

Skills you have will greatly needed by reunite International Child Abduction Centre, we hope that after you send your RESUME to Full time Office Administrator reunite International Child Abduction Centre, you can grow up your career.

January Parents Get Together

The date of Reunite's next parent's 'get together' is Thursday 19th January, in London.

 

If you would like to attend, please contact the Reunite office for details (reunite@dircon.co.uk)

All at reunite send you best wishes for 2017 and let's hope this is a positive year for all.

Merry Xmas

Wishing everybody a happy & wonderful Christmas.

For those who are parents who are not able to see their children through abduction/alienation, my heart goes out to you and empathise with the hurt that you will undoubtedly be feeling.

Also so much thought for those who are suffering the bereavement of their children through illness or accident. It must be such a very traumatic time and must hurt so much in particular on these key dates.

Please stay strong and try to enjoy the season as much as possible with the people around you that are important in your life.

If you have your children / grandchildren with you this year, treasure every single moment with them. They will never be this age again.. You are very blessed..xx

Thank you to everybody that have stayed the distance, inspired me and helped me to stay focused and positive when I have needed it most. Also to the crazy loons I call friends who keep me smiling...

I really can't put into words how much I appreciate all that have given so much love and support. I'm blessed to have some amazing friends and family.

Love and best wishes!!! One Day Closer!! xx